The Reason Behind it All
by Riot.On.Ficnation
Summary: Logan loves Kendall. And Kendall loves Logan...but only when he's drunk. But when Logan meets someone who can help he takes his chance.
1. Chapter 1

The Reason Behind It All

The music was to loud and the people were to close together. _Why do I always let them drag me into these things_? I nagged to myself. I looked cross 2J to see Kendall and Jo making out. It made me feel sick to my stomach so I turned around and took a beer out of some random persons hand. I wasn't usually one to drink alcohol but tonight was an exception. I don't think I can stand to see them together. It's been easier to avoid them with work at the studio and homework but there was no way I can avoid them at this party.

"Hey! Low-gain! C'mere!" I turned to see Carlos, piss drunk and hanging on to the blonde Jennifer for support.

"What?" I asked.

"Watcha lookin' at?" Carlos asked trying to look in the direction that I was previously facing. I stepped in the way and quickly said, "Nothing!."

Carlos shrugged and turned to the Bloned Jennifer and drunkenly slurred out, "You are the HOTTEST Jennifer and I want to poke you!" She slapped him and stormed off as Carlos shouted, "I MENT ON FACEBOOK!" and finally passed out on the couch. I rolled my eyes and turned back around to get another beer. Mrs. Knight and Katie were in Minnesota visiting relatives to "show that Hollywood hadn't changed them. And they were still the fun loving,

non-glamorous and normal people that they were when they left." Although Katie was probably complaining about the cold and Mrs.K was in desperate need of her magazines.

I chugged the beer down and started on another. I planned on getting dunk enough to not remember any of the pain I was feeling. I looked over at Jo and Kendall again and nearly barfed. Kendall was on top of her between her legs with his arms wrapped around her looking her in the eye. I didn't have to imagine what it felt like to be in that position. I already knew...

1 Week Earlier

_I was sitting in my room reading. The party in Jo's apartment had been over 2 hours ago, when Carlos and James had come home, completely wasted. But Kendall was still over there. The thought of what they might be doing made me sick but I fought the thought to the back of my mind and focused on the Major Histocompatibility Complex chapter in my book. It was 3:56 am and ever one was asleep except me. I was waiting for Kendall, so that when he DID get here I could change him into his PJ, because I knew he'd probably fall asleep with his party clothes on and Mrs.K would smell the alcohol on him in a heartbeat. BUSTED. 5 min. later I heard the front door open and sighed as I got out of bed. I put my book down and went to open the bedroom door._

_I opened the door and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Kendall standing there leaning on the door frame for support. I'm not gonna lie. Even drunk he looked hot. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was a mess with his bangs covering his green eyes. He smelled like alcohol and screamed lust. It turned me on. He walked into the room and I closed the door._

_"Kendall?" He looked up and looked me in the eye._

_"Logan." He didn't say it. He GROWLED it and it sent a shiver up my all of a sudden his lips were on mine and he had me on my back on my bed. He was breathing heavy as he attacked my shirt and pants. I finally managed to push him away and wheeze out "What are you doing?"_

_"I need you, Logan. You turn me on more than Jo ever will. I NEED you!" He squeezed my ass on the second "NEED" and it caused me to squeal. Kendall chuckled and did it again harder. He had already taken his shirt off and was working on his pants. Is this really happening?my mind screamed. But I was to happy to think it through. I threw my clothes off and jumped on the bed._

_Kendall finally managed to take his skinny jeans off and placed himself between my legs. He started kissing me again. He made a sloppy line of kisses all the way down my neck and bit down hard. I cried out but then he started sucking on the place were he bit and the pain melted away._

_He grinded into me and I could hardly bare it! The friction was unbelievable and I started to lightheaded with pleasure. He put his fingers in my mouth and I started sucking._

_"Fuuuuuuck Logan!"He moaned. He took his fingers out and pressed into me. I yelped and he laughed. He added another finger and started scissoring as I withered underneath him. He pulled his fingers out, leaving me feeling empty as I let out a needy whine. He sat up and placed me on his lap so that he was completely inside of me, I had never felt so good in my life.. He thrust upward particularly hard and I fell backward onto to the bed, my vision going white around the edges. He climbed over me and pounded into me harder and faster. Istarted moaning uncontrollably as I scratched up his back. The pleasure was overwhelming and I couldn't remember anything or even knew who I was or where I was. All I knew was the waves of ecstasy that were rolling over my body every time Kendall slammed into me._

_"K-Kendall. I'm gonna c-come."I warned._

_"Please wait a little longer,"Kendall whispered in my ear, "I'm not done with you yet."_

_He pulled out nearly all the way and started teasing me. He was giving me a ring job with his long, hard dick. He leaned down and attached his mouth to my nipple and started sucking on it. Oddly enough it felt pretty good. He alternated between nipples and teased my butt hole until I couldn't bare it anymore._

_"K-Ke-Kendall," I pleaded, "I need you inside of me."_

_He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Your wish is my command." He slammed into me hard over and over and kept hammering into me as my back arched, I came all over our chests and nearly blacked out with ecstasy. I rode out my orgasm letting the pleasure consume me._

_But he wasn't done. He was still riding me hard._

_"Fuck, Logan! Your so tight!" I clenched my butt cheeks extra hard as Kendall was thrusting inward and that seemed to be all Kendall needed._

_He let out a loud moan that made me want to come all over again. His face was contorted with ecstasy as he screamed my name. We laid completely still, he was on top of me with his arms wrapped around me. I don't know how long we stayed there, spooning. He looked me in the eye his eyes half lidded and kissed me._

_"I love you." Kendall moaed out. I froze. I looked him in the eye._

_"D-do you mean it?"_

_"Yes! Yes! YES! I love you I love you I love you!"_

_"I LOVE YOU, TOO!" I squealed happily._

_Kendall was nodding off as he moaned out a final, "I love you."_

_I went to sleep happier than I ever was in my life._

The Next Morning

_I woke up before Kendall. We were both still naked from last night's activity. I blushed at the thought of it but I couldn't be happier. I dressed Kendall in his PJ so that no one walked in on a naked Kendall. He didn't wake up so I went to take a shower._

_There was a giant hickey on my neck from were Kendall had sucked on me and the memory made me blush even redder._

_I washed off the cum that had dried on my chest and butt. I replayed last night in my head over and over and my tummy erupted in butterflies every time I got to the part were Kendall said he loved me._

_I stepped out of the shower and got dressed. I walked into the kitchen with a spring in my step to find Kendall sitting at the table drinking coffee. I stayed as quiet as possible and graved him from behind. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and wrapped my arms around his head._

_"Good morning, Sunshine."I chirped. Kendall gave a grunt and took my arms off of him. I felt a little hurt._

_"Not now, Logan. My head is hurtin' like bitch! I was completely wasted last night. I don't remember a thing!"_

_"A thing? As in absolutely nothing." I asked, feeling dread wash over me. Kendall flashed me a mischievous grin._

_"Well, I do remember something." My heart soared with happiness. Kendall leaned in close to me and whispered, "I think I got laid last night."_

_My heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach and I choked back a sob._

_"You think?"_

_"Did I?" Kendall asked with a confused look._

_"Yes! You! DID!" I snapped at him._

_"Who was she?" I died inside. He had no idea it had been me._

_"Not important. Point is you got laid." I said in the most uninterested voice I could muster as I sat down and took a roll off the table._

_"It is important! I want to know who I lost my virginity to!...Wait! I'm not a virgin! YES! Now it's just you and Carlos! Hahahaha! You two are such losers! HAHAHA! You guys are still virgins! HAHAHA!"_

_My insides were boiling with anger which probably lead to me shouting out, "I'M NOT A VIRGIN EITHER! YOU DICKHEAD!" AND THEN I THREW MY ROLL AT HIM!_

_Kendall looked absolutely shocked._

_"Y-your not a virgin?"_

_"No I'm not! And for your information the person that fucked me was hot as fuck! And WASN'T paid to do it! As a matter of fact, that bitch was all over me!"_

_Kendall looked more confused than ever, "Are you saying I fucked a prostitute?"_

_I sighed, suddenly tired with sadness, "No, Kendall she wasn't a prostitute.". I turned to walk away but Kendall graved my arm._

_"Logan. Do you know who that girl was?" I was tempted to tell him that that GIRL was ME. But I bit my tongue and said:_

_"Yes." WHY DIDN'T I JUST SAY NO?_

_Kendall perked up and asked, "Who?"_

_"You wouldn't want to know." Kendall looked confused again as I turned to walk away._

_"Hey, Logan!," Kendall called as I was half way to our shared bedroom. I stopped but didn't turn._

_"Yeah?"_

_"When did YOU lose your V-card?" I finally turned and said, "Last night."_

_Kendall's eyebrows shot up and asked, "How? You didn't go to the party."_

_"It's not important." I snapped as I turned to walk away._

_"Hey, Logan!" I fought the urge to sigh in annoyance._

_"Yes, Kendall?"_

_"Was she pretty?" I looked down at myself. Then turned to look Kendall in the eye. They were so beautiful, I wanted to cry because I knew he was never going to look at me with those eyes full of love or lust ever again._

_"No. She was fuck ugly." And with that I turned away. Feeling a little happy about the look of disgust on Kendall's face._

_Carlo and James woke up around 2:30pm and dragged me out of bed to the pool. Kendall had been bragging about getting laid (of course he made us swear not to tell Jo.) and he mention that I knew who the girl was, so naturally James and Carlos wanted me to tell them. So they dragged me to the pool to point her out._

_"C'mon Logan! Just tell us!" James whined._

_"No. You guys don't want to know. She was ugly."_

_"I don't care!," Kendall said, exasperated, "I just want to know who she was...She was a great lay."_

_I couldn't help but blush as I responded, "You don't want to know!"_

_"YES I DO!"_

_"That's it! Logan if you don't tell us, you're going in the pool!" Carlos threatened._

_"Yeah right!," I snorted, "I'm not gonna tell you, no matter how much you-"_

_Carlos pushed me into the pool._

_I came up gasping for air as the guys laughed their asses off._

_"That was so not cool!," I shouted, "This shirt is dry clean only!"I added, annoyed._

_"Some one give me a towel!" I snapped as I shimmied out of the shirt._

_"Wow Logan. Just strip down why don't you!" James teased._

_"Oh, shut up. You know I hate it when my clothes stick to me!." Carlos came back with a towel and I started drying myself off as James' eyes bugged out._

_"WOW! Logan! Who gave you that giant hickey?" He screamed. Everyone in the pool area heard and turned to look at me._

_Logan with a hickey! NOT POSSIBLE! He's to much of a probably thought. I slammed my hand over the hickey as I gave James a death glare. Carlos wrestled with me as he graved my hand to see the giant spot on my neck._

_"Carlos! STOP!" I screamed as I snatched my hand back and ran into the building. Away from the curious looks of the Palmwoods kids, James and Carlos' jeers and Kendall's scrutinizing look of what seemed to me confusion, curiosity and (I was probably imagining it) anger._

PRESENT DAY

"Oi! Get a room!" a voice shouted behind me. I turned to see James. James was the only one who knew I was gay AND in love with Kendall. He had apologized profoundly for pointing out the hickey in front of the entire pool area and Kendall. I forgave him but I was still mad at him for it.

Kendall and Jo looked up blushing and it made my stomach turn. Kendall whispered something in Jo's ear and Jo stopped smiling. She pushed Kendall away and Kendall desperately clung on to her hand, but she pulled away. She turned to Kendall and said something that gave Kendall a frustrated look. He said something that seemed to have pissed her off, she said something else before storming off and left Kendall scowling.

"Fine! Go ahead! I DARE YOU!" I could faintly hear Kendall shout after her over the music. She turned back to him and gave him a defiant look (that made me want to slap her) before looking around the room. She scanned the crowd and rested her eyes on me. I darted my eyes away and pretended like I couldn't see her coming my way.

When she reached me she greeted me, "Hi Logan!". Her breath smelled like beer and I could barley smell Kendall's cologne on her. Yup. I definitely wanted to slap her.

"Sup Jo. How are-" Jo slammed her lips on mine and gave me a sloppy, drunk kiss. She had caught me with my mouth open and I could taste the alcohol on her tongue. I pushed her away and screamed, "WHAT THE HELL?"

People were staring and I looked up to see a furious Kendall. I felt my insides shrivel up with terror. He was shaking with anger and was staring at me and Jo with a murderous look in his eyes. His fists were clenched as he stormed off into our room. Jo the Hoe was still trying to kiss me but I pushed her away as I started off for the apartment door.

James stepped in my way and shouted over the music, "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know! She and Kendall were arguing and she came over and she kissed me!"

"Then go talk to Kendall!"

"Are you kidding me? He'll kill me!"

"Just tell him what happened."

"NO! I'll just let him cool down." I turned around and walked away from him and into the crowd. He was never going to let me leave 2J. I mingled as best I could. But people kept asking me if Jo was the one who had given me the hickey. It started to piss me off, but since I couldn't leave locked myself in the kitchen bathroom. I stayed there for 45 glorious minutes until I had to get out because Guitar Dude damn near broke them door down and heaved into the toilet.

Jo had gone home, apparently crying because of her's and Kendall's fight. And everyone else left around 1:45 am. I really didn't want to go to my room so I stayed up nd cleaned EVERYTHING so that 2J looked nicer than it usually did. I finished cleaning around 3:56 am. I lingered around the living room until I was certain that there was no more getting around the fact that I had to go into that room. James had taken Carlos' passed out body to their bedroom and I could hear snores. _CRAP! They're so wasted they're probably gonna be passed out until tomorrow. They won't hear my cries for mercy as Kendall murders me._

I sucked in my breath and turned the door's knob and slowly pushed the door open. Kendall wasn't there. I closed the door behind me and stepped on a bunch of beer cans. The floor around Kendall's bed was littered with them. I started to look around to find Kendall but then a force behind threw me on my bed. I let out a shriek as Kendall flipped me onto my back and pinned me down.

"What the HELL was that?" Kendall snarled.

"W-Wha-" I couldn't get the words out. My throat was clenched with terror.

"You know what the fuck I'm talking about!" Kendall hissed, "You kissed Jo!"

"I DIDN'T! SHE kissed ME! You saw her! You and her were fighting and then you shouted 'FINE! Go ahead! I dare you!' and then she came over and kissed me!"

Kendall looked murderous. Then he let me go and sat down on the bed next to me, head in hands.

"I fucked up, Logan. I fucked up bad." He said miserably. I sat up and stared at him. Alcohol seemed to make him bipolar. One second he was going to kill me the next he was crying into his hands.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I couldn't stand it when Kendall was sad.

"Jo...She wants nothing to do with me." my insides shriveled up.

"Oh..."

"I shoulda kept my mouth shut."

"What did you say?" As much as I didn't want to know about Jo or her problems with Kendall.

"Well, did you hear James shout 'Oi! Get room!'?" I nodded, "Well, I said 'Do you want to go to the room?' then she went all holier-than-thou, pushed me away and was like 'Kendall will you stop pressuring me? I want to wait.' and how many to havn't I heard that? It's so fucking frustrating! So I said 'You know what? You're being fucking PRUDE!' and she got all pissy and was like 'Why can't you be more like Logan? He respects people so much it makes 'em sick! He wouldn't pressure me into having sex! As a matter of fact I like him! A LOT! I think I'm gonna go kiss him right now!' and was like 'FINE! Go ahead! I DARE YA!' " Kendall put his head in his hands and wailed, "I NEVER SHOULDA CALLED HER A PRUDE!"

I was shocked. _Jo liked me? Eew_! Kendall sat up straight again and looked at me.

"Why does she like you?" he hissed. And just like that he was angry again, "Are you trying to steal her from me?" he shouted.

"NO! NO! I don't even like Jo!" He leaped on me and pinned me down again.

"Then why the hell does she like you?"

"I don't know! I swear I don't know!" I screamed.

"Don't mess with me Logan!" he snarled.

"Oh God! Please don't kill me!" I squealed, my body was trembling uncontrollably and tears were welling up in my eyes. Kendall's face softed. I let go of me and sat down next to me again. I couldn't move. I was still trembling with fear as I just lay on the bed. Kendall layed down next to me and...started stroking my hair.

"Oh, Logie. I would never kill you." He said softly. "I love you." I stopped breathing.

"Wha-what are you doing Kendall?"

"Nofkin" he slurred as he leaned down an kissed me.

_WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?_ my mind screamed. I pushed Kednall away and hissed, "KENDALL! What are you doing?"

"Marking my territory! Jo wants to take you away from me! But she CAN'T! You're MINE!" WTF?

Kendall kissed me again. He tried to roll ontop of my but was so wasted he couldn't stop himself and kept rolling. He hit the floor and the beer cans on it. Making a lot of noise.

_God he is so wasted._ Then it hit me._ He's wasted. He was wasted last week when he told me he loved me and took my virginity and he's wasted now._

Kendall was getting up. He seemed to have forgotten that he was trying to "mark his territory" and was giggling like an idiot.

"Logan! Help me up!" I gulped down the lump in my throat and helped him onto his bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. I picked up all the beer cans in a bag and put the bag in the corner.

I sat down on my bed. My back to Kendall. _He only wants me when he's drunk. The reason behind it all was: alcohol. Kendall would never love me like that if he were sober._ I thought miserably. I got under my blanket, to tired to change out of my clothes, and silently cried myself to sleep.


	2. Ch 2 You're Hungover and I'm Miserable

**Chapter 2: You're Hungover and I'm Misearable.**

It was about noon as I sat by the pool with James tanning next to me and Carlos off trying to get one of the Jennifers to go on a date with him (to no avil). Kendall was with Jo across the pool being such a sweet couple it'd make you sick.

"Hey Logan? Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone?" Carlos asked, after having given up with Jennifers.

"Yes. It's scientificlly proven that some people were made for eachother." I responded.

"Really?" Carlos asked perking up.

"Yup. It's something with your genes. There had been proof in studies of major histocompati-"

"Ok! MY BRAIN HURTS!" Carlos interrupted, he was still WAY hungover from the party yesterday at Gutair Dude's place. I chuckled, but on the inside I was calculating the chances of death if I threw myself off the Palmwoods.

It had happened had managed to drag me to Guaitar Dude's place.

_**THE NIGHT BEFORE**_

_ I was having a horrible time. I could see Kendall and Jo making out on the couch. Jo's eyes met my for a second and I felt like puking. I drank half my beer, alone. Carlos had managed to get two of the Jennifers drunk and had disappeared into a room with them half an hour ago and James was sucking face with the blonde Jennifer. And I was alone in the corner, sipping a beer._

_ "LOGAN!" I looked up, slightly buzzed. Camille was smiling at me totally drunk, "I know your secret Logan."_

_ "Excuse me?" My guts clenched. I may have been a bit drunk but I was sober enough to freak out._

_ Camille leaned into my ear and whispered, "I know you gay."_

_ I damn near vomited._

_ "How do you know?" I hissed graving Camille's arm and leading her to the door._

_ "James told me." She reasponded casualy, "And now I'm not mad at you over breaking up with me for kissing James. I totally understand that you were in love with-" I slammed my hand over her mouth._

_ "You cannot tell ANYONE Camille! _ANYONE!_ Do you understand?" Camille nodded, removed my hand and slurred out, "Don't worry Logan. Your secret is same with me."_

_ "Oh great! My most deep and personal secret is safe with my wasted ex-girlfriend." Camille laughed a loud and obnoxious laugh which caused me to giggle a bit. I like drunk alughter. I think it's funny._

_ "What is this?" an angry voiced hissed. Jo was standing with her hands on her skinny hips. She was obviously wasted. She was swaying on her feet and kept having to reach out and hold on to something for support._

_ "What?" Camille asked._

_ "What are you doing with Logan?" Jo snarled. Camille gave me surprised questioning look but I shook my head._

_ "Talking. What else would w-"_

_ "SHUT UP CAMILLE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Jo shouted._

_ "But you asked!" Camille snapped, "Plus what the hell do you care if me an Logan are together? You're with Kendall!"_

_ "Where _is_ Kendall?" I asked quickly, trying to change the subject._

_ "He's in the bathroom." Jo snapped, "I thought that I would be able to talk to you but obviously your busy!"_

_ "Why do you want to-"_

_ "I'm in love with you!" Jo screamed. I jumped a bit and Camille's eyes bugged out, "HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT? THE ONLY REASON I'M DATING KENDALL IS SO THAT I CAN GET CLOSER TO YOU!"_

_ My jaw dropped to the ground as Jo made a move for me; but Camille stepped in her way and growled, "Don't touch him."_

_ And that's how the catfight started. Jo slapped Camille in the face. Camille, being the slapping expert that she was, slapped her so hard the entire party heard. Jo screamed and clawed like a tiger at Camille's face, but Camille socked her and put her in a headlock. Jo did judo but she had nothing on Camille who could box, wrestle, steetfight and kickbox. _

_ Acting had it's perks. People were watching as the girls fought...well, as Camille beat the crap out of Jo._

_ "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Kendall's voice boomed. He appeared out of nowhere and tried to break the girls apart._

_ "LOGAN HELP ME!" My mind was still in shock of what Jo had just screamed. I was certain that at least a few people had heard Jo scream out her love for me. I reached into the Human Ball of Claws and Fists and pulled out Camille. Jo was bawling her eyes out into Kendall's chest as she lied about what had happened._

_ "I w-was t-t-talking to L-L-L-Logan w-when Ca-Camille came out o-of nowhere and a-at-attacked m-me." Jo lied._

_ "You are such a lying SLUT!" Camille screamed. She was a lot harder to hold onto than you might think, "SHE'S LYING! KENDALL! SHE JUST TOLD US-" Jo kicked Camille in the stomach and Camille dobbled over._

_ "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" I screamed at Jo as I caught Camille before she crumpled to the floor. Kendall pulled Jo away from Camille who had recovered and lunged at her._

_ "GET THESE CHICKS OUT OF HERE!" Guitar Dude shouted out of the crowd._

_ Kendall dragged Jo to her apartment and I took Camille to hers. I made sure Camille was inside her apartment before turning and walking down the hall to the elevator._

Jo's in love with me._ The thought made me want to throw up. It really sucked to be her. _

_ The boy she's in love with hates her with every fiber in his being and is acctually gay and in love with the boy who DOES like her and she's just using to get closer to the boy that hates her._

Damn that's complicated_, I thought as I stepped into the elevator. _But I hate Jo so I really don't give a fuck._ The elevator dinged and I stepped out and walked to 2J. I needed to sleep. It was just about 1 in the morning and we had had 10 rehersal. I don't have a clue as to where the guys got the energy to party after 10 hours of singing and dancing._

_ I could hear someone in the kitchen bathroom as I stepped into the apartment._

_ "Hello?" I called out. No one answered. I shrugged it off, thinking it was probably just a drunk James or Carlos._

_ I went to my room and collapsed on to the bed. I sat up and took my jacket off. I needed a shower. I started to strip down, even if I was tired and needed rest I felt grimmie and gross after the party. I stripped down to my boxers before realizing someone was watching me. I turned and yelped when I saw Kendall stading infront of the private bathroom of our room._

_ "Holy crap! Kendall! You scared the shit out of me!" Kendall just stared at me. It was unnerving. Plus it was awkward because I was only in my boxers._

_ "Logan?"_

_ "Yes?" I asked, slightly afraid._

_ "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?" Kendall exploded. I jumped up a bit and squeaked out, "Uummm...I- I d-don't know!"_

_ "How do you not know? You were there!" I blinked at him. I couldn't tell him. He would be crushed. Or just angry. And it wasn't smart to make Kendall mad; sober or not._

_ "Me and Camille were talking and then Jo came over and started yelling at Camille and one thing led to another, they were drunk, and Jo slapped Camille and Camille beat the shit out of Jo." I blurted in one breath._

_ "And why didn't you try to stop them?" Kendall hissed._

_ "I was in shock." I answered truthfully._

_ "IN SHOCK OF WHAT?" I jumped again._

_ "O-of J-Jo being s-so v-v-violent." I stuttered._

_ "Don't lie to me Logan." Kendall growled as he stepped toward me._

_ "I-I'm not." He stepped closer. I could smell him. And you know when you walk by a guy (a HOT guy) and he smells really good and you think _FOR THE DEAR LOVE OF GOD COME BACK! _And you know that if you could you would gladly stand by them all day because that one whiff is enough to get you addicted? That's how good Kendall smelled._

_ "But you've lied to me before." I blinked up at him._

_ "What? Whe-"_

_ "When you said the person I lost my virginity to was a girl." My stomach dropped and I felt like hurling._

_ "I thought you didn't remember." I tried to say but my tongue was busy fight off Kendall's which was suddenly in my mouth._

_ "OH MY GOD! KENDALL!" I screamed. I shoved him backwards onto his bed, but he streched out his long arms and graved the back of my theise, pulling me ontop of him. He put his hand on the back of my head and slammed our lips together._

_ I'm not gonna lie. I liked it. I liked it a lot. And from the bulge in Kendall's pants I can tell he liked it too. I started kissing back _

_ We were perpendicular to the bed and as Kendall flipped us he made us parallel. Us. Kendall and me. Us. I loved the way that sounded._

_ Kendall started peeling off his shirt and shimmied out of his pants. Soon we were both just in our boxers and VERY excited._

_ I knew that Kendall was only doing this because he was drunk. And that come tomorrow I was going to be hurt and Kendall wouldn't remember. But at the moment I couldn't have cared less._

_ Kendall slipped his fingers under the elastic of my boxers._

_ "Take them off." He growled. I groaned. I wanted the grinding to never end. I paused to slip them off and Kendall let out a primative growl that revved my hormones._

_ "Imma fuck you so hard." He growled. He ripped his boxers off and flung himself on me. He ground into me and my head buzzed with pleasure._

_ He slipped his hand down to my hard-on and clasped it. I moaned as he started stroking me. Pre-cum leaked out and Kendall wet his fingers. He pulled his hand away and I groaned._

_ "Don't worry Logie. I'm not done with you." Kendall said. His hand was covered in my lubricant. He raised his hand to his lips and sucked on his fingers._

_ "Mmmm, Logie. You taste good." He kissed me. His lips smoldering my brain. He bit my lip as he pulled back and slipped his fingers in me, "Last week is going to seem like nothing once I'm done with you tonight." He finished prepairing me and positioned us so that he could slide in._

_ "K-Kendall." Kendall looked up at me. His pupils were dialated and his muscels were tensed. He was wild with lust, "Give it to me as hard as you can."_

_ Kendall smirked, "Who knew my little Logie was such a horny little boy."_

_ He slammed into me and my back arched. Partly because Kendall was much bigger than his fingers and partly because he had hit me in my sweet spot with such force that I almost blacked out. I screamed out and fisted the sheets._

_ He did it again and again. I could hardly breathe I was scream so hard._

_ "You're gonna wake the neighbors, Logie." Kendall said as he leaned down to kiss me and silence my screaming. I moaned into the kiss as Kendall kept thrusting his hips._

_ I weaved my hands through his hair and took it all in. I started clawing up his back as I got lost in the sex. Kendall hissed as I draggedmy nails down his back._

_ Then he pulled out. Kendall sat up between my legs as I laid in shock of the sudden stop._

_ "Kendall? Wh-"_

_ "Shhh. Sit up. Legs apart." I didn't want to move but I did as he told me. I was edgy and frustrated at the moment but I sat up as Kendall sat watching me. He pushed me against the wall and my legs apart, so that they were dangling over the sides of the bed and my back was on the wall._

_ "What are yoOHGAWD!" Kendall ducked his head his between my theise. He kissed me around my penis. He licked the small space between where my theigh ended and my ball sack started._

_ "You're teasing mEEE!." I squealed as his tongue flicked the tip of my penis, "Oh God Kendall! Please ju-" he took me in his mouth. He started sucking and I couldn't believe it was happening. Kendall was giving me my first blowjob. _

_ "KENDALL! OHGOD!" He replcaed his mouth with his hand and strocked me. He didn't pause as he straddled me and put his lips to my ear._

_ "You're delicious. I'm addicted to your taste, Logie." He whispered, "Your cum, you mouth, your dick. I'm gonna eat you inside out" Shivers went down my spine and into the tip of my cock._

_ He squeezed me and moaned. And I lost it. I came hard screaming, "KENDALL!"_

_ I came all over his chest and he loved it. He spread it all over his naked body._

_ "LOGIE!" Kendall screamed as he threw himself on to his back and licked my cum off his hands. His abdomen was completly covered in my seed. He reached down and started touching himself. He was still REALLY hard._

_ I sat and watched as he jerked himself off using my cum as lubricant in front of me until I couldn't resist myself anymore. I threw myself onto his sticky chest and kissed him as he came._

_ "Fuck, Logie." Kendall huffed as we caught our breath, "You're just...damn."_

_ I smiled. It's like the Universe had lined up perfectly to give me the best sex in my life._

_ And then I remembered that Kendall was drunk. He wasn't going to reemeber this in the morning. And this was probably the last time this ever happened. The fact tht it happened once is amazing enough. I got off of Kendall's chest as I chocked back tears._

_ "Logie? What's wrong?" Kendall asked._

_ "N-nothing." I voice quivered as I stood up and crawled into my bed._

_ "Logie?" The concern in his voice made me start sobbing. He got up and laid down next to me._

_ "Logie? What's wrong?"_

_ "You're not going to remember this in the morning." I gasped out, "You're drunk. You won't remember that you made love to me just like last week when you forgot you said you loved me."_

_ Kendall didn't respond. Then he turned my head to look at him. His green eyes were bright and his bangs almost covered them. Then he kissed me. It wasn't a lust filled kiss. It was a loving kiss. Tender and gentle._

_ "I never forgot. I know I love you." Kendall whispered. He wrapped his arm around me and hels me close. I put my head in the nook of his neck and fell asleep. And pretended that he _would_ remember this in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn't._

_**EARLY MORNING**_

_ I woke up before Kendall and got dressed. I wanted to leave before he woke up. I took a shower and cried. When I got out my eyes were swollen so I put on a pair of James $300 sunglasses. He wouldn't miss them. I stayed out at the pool untill James and Carlos came down around 11, which is early for them after parties._

_ Carlos had so many hickies he looked like a leopard, but admitted that he hadn't gotten laid. Brown T-Shirt Dude had walked in on him and the Jennifers just as Carlos had managed to get the Black Jennifer to take her shirt off and the Latina Jennifer was only in her panties and bra._

_ James was bragging about how the Blonde Jennifer had take her clothes off as soon as James closed the door to the hallway supply closet behind them. But Bitters had walked in on them and ran away screaming._

_ James' story had managed to make me laugh so hard I didn't stop for 10 minutes untill Jo and Kendall arrived._

**BACK TO PRESENT**

Kendall had said something to Jo that had her laughing. It was a week since the party at our place and they had made up. Kendall didn't know that Jo was in love with me and Jo didn't know I had slept with Kendall. They were blissfully unaware and had no problem rubbing it in my face.

Kendall had got the whole 9 yards the day right after the party.

He bought her a dozen bouques of roses, saranaded to her in front of the entire Palmwoods and to top it all off, had James, Carlos and I wore giant cardboard cut outs of a giant heart and the letters I and U (James was the I. Carlos was the U and I was the heart.) and made us dance along with his singing. It made me sick. Afterwards I set the heart on fire and watched it burn.

Jo said something that made Kendall nod enthusiastically. He asked her something and she didn't seem to like it very much but she nodded too. Kendall stood up and walked over to us and I darted my eyes away (thank God I was wearing sunglasses!).

"Hey guys! You wanna go to the beach? Me and Jo are going and I was wondering if you wanted to go."

"Wouldn't Jo want you all to herself?" I asked, trying my best to keep the bitterness out of my voice. Kendall gave me a funny look and responded, "Nah. I've been spending to much time with her anyways."

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR! Kendall and Jo (or Ko as the Palmwoods kids so sickly put it) had been spending every waking moment together! It was like they were conjointed at the waist!

"Sure!," James said from my right.

"OK!" Carlos agreed.

"We have a pool RIGHT HERE! That isn't popluted with run off from the swears and doesn't have gross old men in it like the beach. PLUS! Aren't you guys hungover?" I said, pessimisticly. Plus I didn't want to be around Jo after finding out that she may like me. A LOT.

"Aaw! Shut up Logan!" Carlos said as he sprang up out of his seat, "We're going to the beach!"

I grit my teeth and stood up. _Fuck me life._ I seethed._ Fuck it_._ Fuck it. Fuck it._

Later, I found out, that going to the beach today was the reason behind my life going through enough grief that could cripple.


	3. Ch 3 At the Beach

**You know what I keep forgeting to do? A disclaimer. So here it is. I do not own anything Big Time Rush except a for couple of posters that I got in a magazine. Logan and Kendall are not dating in real life (as far as I know) and I don't own any of the characters with the exception to the ones that I made up. This goes with the rest of the story and the past chapters. So there, now I don't have to do this for every chapter.**

**Oh, and I am aware of a lot my grammer mistakes. I am a HORRIBLE speller and sometimes I hit the wrong buttons. Sorry. I AM SO VERY SORRY! But you guys get what I'm writting, right? I hope.**

**CHAPTER #3: At the Beach**

"Ok. I officialy hate you all!" I screamed as I took off my sunscreen covered shirt and wiped off the extra white stuff from my face and arms. James, Carlos and Kendall were cracking up. I bent over to pick up the sandwich, which was supposed to be my lunch, that was now covered in sand.

"I am so sorry Logan! It was totally my fault! I should have let you carry the cooler!" Jo apologized. _I HATE YOU JO! SO FUCKING MUCH!_

Jo had insisted on taking the cooler out of the car even though I told her I would do it. But she refused to give it to me. So naturally, she dropped it (that weakling) right on a bottle of sunscreen that the boys had strategicaly placed so that when she did drop the cooler it would land on the bottle of sunblock and sqwirt me full in the face. Damn Kendall and his genius plans.

"It's fine. Don't worry. Now I won't burn in the sun!" I said in the cheeriest tone I could muster, even though I wanted nothing more than to slap her repeatedly. Kendall helped me pick up the cooler and discovered that only MY lunch had been ruined.

"It's fine," I told Jo, who apologized **again**, "I'll just go down to the sandwich shop down the way and get something from there."

"Really, Logan, I'm so so sor-" she started come torward me but I flinch away.

"Jo! I said it's fine!" I snapped, becoming aggitated by her constant apologizing. I wanted her nowhere near me. I was in denile. Jo didn't love me. She was wasted last night. Jo looked kind of hurt but walked away to help James set up the beach blanket. Carlos, being the hyperactive bottle of energy that he is, jumped into the water the second he had managed to wiggle out of his clothes and was now splashing around with some guys who had a football. Carlos was always the friend maker.

Kendall started stripping down and I did my best not to start drooling. He turned to me and yelled, "C'mon Logan! Let's go in the water!" I nodded and walked over to him. I reached him the same time Jo did. She held his hand and I couldn't help but feel jealous. So you can't imagine how grateful I was of James sprinting down the beach and going right between Kendall and Jo and shouting, "Last one in the water helps Mama Kight with dinner when she come back!"

Kendall and I took off running. And even though James had a head start I beat them both. I dived head first into the water and looked back to see James coming in with a splash as Kendall stopped running to wait for Jo who was running at about the speed of a snail. Jo reached him and held his hand again as Kendall started walking down to the water line.

"AWW! Kendall! You lost!" James shouted. Jo laughed but I can't help but notice that Kendall looks a little annoyed. Ko reached the water and I can tell that Jo started complaining about something.

"I don't want to go in the water!" Jo whined, "I wanna tan."

"Then go lay on the beach blanket!"

"Come tan with me!"

"I want to go swimming!"

"But I want you with me!" Jo glanced over Kendall's shoulder at me and then lightly touched Kendall's arm as if to show that Kendall was HER'S. As you can imagine, I wanted to slap Jo in the face for being so annoying, but then I heard Carlos and James calling my name. I turned to see them with the guys Carlos had been playing with.

"Wanna play football with us?" a blond guy asked. Him and his friends were about collage age and REALLY hot. There were 4 of them; the blond, one with black hair, one with brown hair and one with red hair.

"Sure. Let me go get Kendall so that it'll be even." I called back.

"Hey Kendall! Wanna play football with the guys?"

Kendall turned to me with a grin and opened his mouth to speak but Jo opened her trap.

"NO! He's going to tan with me! Aren't you Kenny?" Kendall looked REALLY annoyed. He HATES being called Kenny. Jo glared at me, but I couldn't help notice her subtly looking at my dripping wet body up and down. _She's really in love with me. Or at least thinks I'm cute. I think I'm gonna hurl._

"But Jo! He's already wet! There's no sence in getting wet if your just going to get out again!" I said. Kendall gave me a weird look and said, "I'm not we- AAAGGGHHH!"

I tackeled him into the water. We fell in an awkward heap. He had some how managed to get me on the bottom and instead of me ending up around his torso we were head to head. My arms around his neck while his were around my abdomen. I guess we both excpected the water to be a bit deeper because my back hit the wet sad floor and I stopped going down as Kendall's body pressed on mine. My head hit the floor and I opened my eyes. Through the water, which was now polluted by all the sand that me and Kendall had uprooted, I could see Kendall's face coming toward mine. His eyes were closed as his lips landed on mine. We stayed like that for a milisecond. Then, Kendall, who apperantly didn't realize that we had kissed, pushed himself up and off of me. I sat up as fast as I could and stood up gasping for air. Kendall was already standing as I pushed myself up. I could hear the guys in the water cheering my amazing tackle and Kendall was laughing. Only Jo seemed to be angry.

"Omigawd! Fine! Have fun Kendall!" She snapped. She turned to leave and so did we but then she screeched, "HOLD THE FUCK ON!"

Kendall turned to look at her as she screamed, "WHO THE FUCK SCRATCHED UP YOUR BACK?"

I was laughing **hysterically** on the inside. Kendall was fumbling over words and it was kind of sad to see Kendall like that so I lied, "Lightning pounced on him from behind at the pool after the party."

Kendall gave me a grateful look and Jo looked like she swallowed a lemon.

"Honestly Jo. You need to trust Kendall more." I said as I steered Kendall into the water. Jo stomed off and Kendall stared after her.

"She'll get over it." I said.

"Thanks Logie." My stomach did a backflip. He had called me Logie last night. Did that mean he remembered...no. He didn't. Or things would be extremly awkward.

I nodded because I didn't trust my voice not to crack.

"And...um. Can I ask you something?" I nodded again.

"Ok. I **know** Lightning isn't the one that scratched up my back," My stomach turned and my chest tightened, "I mean. I don't know who I slept after the party. But I do know I slept with _someone_," I felt like I simotaniously got punched in the stomach and the wheight of the world was off my shoulders, "But when I woke up this morning...I was in your bed."

I laughed out loud, "Don't worry Kendall. It's fine. You can have those sheets. I slept in your bed last night."

Kendall nodded, "But what I wanted to ask you was: with who?"

"Exsqueeze me?"

"I took a look at our beds wondering why I was naked in yours and nobody was in mine. And when I was looking at my bed I couldn't help notice that I looked like some people had a pretty good time in it." My face started to burn.

"Uh...yeah. I got laid last night. I don't know who she was though." I lied.

"I don't know the girl specifically. But I know it was the same girl from last week! I know it's her Logie! Last night I remember dark brown hair." I felt like my face was going to melt off, "Logie. Please tell me who she is."

I looked up startled. Kendall wasa looking at me with desperate eyes. I couldn't tell him, "I'm sorry Kendall. I can't."

Kendall opened as if to say something but we had reached the guys and Carlos had thrown the ball at us. _Us. NO. LOGAN! Stop doing that!_

Water reached up to the middle of my tummy. We introduced ourselves. The blond was named Jake, the black haired guy was nicknamed Spyke (because of all of his piercings. He was from England and had a soft Cockney accent which Carlos seemed to think was halarious.). The brown haired guy was named Craig. And the ginger was nicknamed Scott. He was scottish and had an accent. Once again, Carlos thought it was awesome.

"Y'ur dame is pretty cute." Spyke commented to Kendall.

"Thanks. Stay away."

The guys laughed as Jake explained, "Spyke's gay. He won't go for her."

"Oh." Kendall said, looking slightly uncomfertable, "Are you all..."

"No." Jake replied, "Just me and Spyke."

"I never would have guessed it." James admitted.

"Well. We ain't 'zactly the _flambouiant_ type." Spyke put in, "We're the quiet type. Like y'ur friend 'ere, Logan."

My face turned bright red when Spyke said that. My eyes flickered to James who was looking at my with an amused expression. I opened my mouth to say something but Kendall interupted.

"Logan is not gay! He's as straight as a line!" Jake's eyebrows shot up and Spyke gave me an unbelieving look. Neither had the decency to look apologetic.

"Sorry." Craig finally said, seeing as how Jake and Spyke weren't going to apologize.

"It's ok." I responded dissmissively, "So. Let's start playing."

For the next hour and a half we play an extremly sloppy version of football. Jake, I noticed, kept takling ME into the water. More than once did our bodies inertwine under water and more than once did he "accidentaly" rub his groin on mine. And I have to admit... I sort of _liked_ the attention. The other guys noticed and thought it was funny. Except Kendall who had a annoyed look on his face every time me and Jake emerged from the water.

But he kept playing, trying not to look like a homophob. Then IT happened.

James threw the ball too high and I had to jump up out of the water to get it. I don't know how I managed to jump that high but I did and right when I was going to splash into the water Jake came out of nowhere, caught me in mid-air, twisted me around so that I had one leg on either side of his torso and kissed me full on the lips. Of course we went down with a splash.

Underwater Jake was still holding me and with the fingers as light as feathers traced a heart over my chest. I probably never would have known that he did it if I didn't have my eyes open. I looked through the seawater to see Jake staring at me, he traced a question mark on my chest. And then pointed up to the surface. And I knew what he was asking, _Do you like Kendall?_

I found myself nodding. Jake nodded back. And when I put my index finger to my lips, like when you shush people, and then put my hands together in a praying fashion, he nodded again understanding what I asked,_ Please don't tell them_.

We emerged to the surface to hear the roar of laughter. I wiped my eyes to see James and Carlos dying. James was gasping for air as he held an equally breathless Carlos who couldn't seem to be able to keep himself floating due to the fact that he was weak with laughter. Spyke and Craig had tears in their eyes and Scott, who was simply chuckling, was shaking his head, as if Jake did that a lot. Only Kendall wasn't laughing. He was just staring at Jake and me with a blank stare. I wish I could read his expression to see anger, jealousy (Gawd I would have LOVED to see jealousy), or even disgust (just to see how he would react if I ever decided to tell the him and Carlos I was gay) but his face was blank.

"Is anyone else hungry? I'm starving!" I squeaked. I could feel my face burning as Kendall's emotionless eyes bore into me.

"Afta' oll that shuga' Jake gave ya?" Spyke howled, exagerating his accent. My face got hotter, much to everyones amusement.

"I'm starting to get hungry too." Scott said. We all decided to go eat. The guys had their food in their car which was only a few parking spots from ours. They joined us on our beach blanket where Jo had managed to get so tan that she looked like Snooki x2. I almost died laughing when she took off her sunglasses to reveal The Worlds Worst Tanline. She started tearing up when I started openly laughing at her, which made me even happier. I'm not a mean person, but I hate Jo too much.

"Logan. Where's your lunch?" Craig asked.

"Oh crap! I forgot! Jo dropped the cooler and ruined my lunch!" I responded. I had intentionaly used the Jo's name and the word ruined to make her feel bad. I love how the fact that she likes me made it that much worse. Damn, I was going to use that advantage for evil. MWAHAHA! _Oh Logan, what has your love for Kendall done to you?_

"What are ya plannin' on eatin now?" Spyke asked.

"I'll just go up the beach to the sandwhich shop."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Jake offered, I knew he wanted to talk to me about Kendall, who at the moment was staring a hole right through me, "I have a friend who works there. She can give you a discount."

"Sure."

"Keep your lip to yourself!" James called, sending roars of laughter through the group. I looked back at him and he was giving me a peculiar look. I can tell he was confused and Carlos is going to tease me untill I died.

Jake and I started up the beach to the sandwhich shop that was half a mile down.

"So. You ARE gay?" Jake said finally.

"Yup."

"And in love with Kendall."

"Since I was 12."

"And he's dating that so-skinny-its-gross _female_."

"Yup."

"WOW!"

"Pretty much!" We didn't say anything for a while intill I asked something that had been picking at me,"Um...Jake. Why did you...uh...kiss me?"

Jake laughed at that, "Well. I knew from the second I saw you that you were... y'know. Oh don't worry! It's not like it extremly obvious or anything. It's just one of my gifts. And then I knew the second I saw you with Kendall that you were in love with him... Soooooooo, I kinda wanted to see if he liked you back by giving you extra attention. And it didn't really work. 'Cuz I for all I know Kendall's a homophob who doesn't want a fag hitting on his friend."

"Kendall isn't homophobic!" I squeaked up.

"I didn't know that for sure. So I decided to kiss you and see his reation. And franckly, your friend has a great poker face."

"I know!" I groaned, "I couldn't read his expression either!"

"And thankfuly you didn't do anything but turn bright red. So I can still help you!" Jake said cheerfuly.

"Help me do what?"

"Get your BFF to be your BFF!" I stared at him blakly intill he explained, "Best Friend Forever to BoyFriend Forever."

"And how do you propse to do that?"

"Make him jealous so that he'll realize he's in love with you."

I laughed, "Yeah. One problem. He's already in love WITH A GIRL!"

"So?"

"He doen't even know I'm gay."

"And he deosn't have to! Another one of my gifts is my ability to read people well. And Kendall seems to be the kind of guy who fights for what he wants no matter what. Am I right?" I nodded. "So. All we have to do is make you one of the things he wants, so that he can fight for you and get you."

"Which brings us to the first problem: he's straight. Second problem: he's in love with Jo. Third problem: I don't want to come out yet. James is the only one that knows."

"Solution 1: Kendall's bi. I don't care how straight you act sober, if you have sex with a guy when you yourself are a guy your bi or gay, drunk or not. Solution 2: Jo is annoying as fuck. Solution 3: they've been your friends for years, they'll accept you. Plus you won't have to come out. My partner is female."

"I'm sorry your what?"

"My partner. You'll meet her right now." Jake grinned as we walked to the entrance of the sandwhich shop, Sand Witch. There a life-size statue in the shape of a witch on a broomstick made from compacted sand at the front door of the resturant. _Ah, the wonders of LA. Where you can't walk into a sandwich shop without being greeted with a sand witch._


	4. Ch 4 Meeting My Matchmaker

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Big Time Rush except a for couple of posters that I got in a magazine. Logan and Kendall are not dating in real life (as far as I know) and I don't own any of the characters with the exception to the ones that I made up. This goes with the rest of the story and the past chapters.**

**Oh, and I am aware of a lot my grammer mistakes. I am a HORRIBLE speller and sometimes I hit the wrong buttons. Sorry. But you guys get what I'm writting, right? I hope.**

**CHAPTER 4: Meeting My Matchmaker**

"Dot!" Jake called.

"Jake?" a female voice came from the back of the resturant. The door to the kitchen swung open and out emerged one of the sexyest girls I've seen in my life. She was latina, about 5'5'' with amazing curves, a nice tan, raven black hair and C-cup breasts. She took of running as she ran up to Jake and jumped into his arms.

"ONIGAWD! JAKE! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN MONTHS!" she squealed. Jake laughed as he put her down on the ground. She was shorter than me and wasn't wearing any make up or shoes. She was one of the worlds last natural beauties. Not as beautiful as Kendall, but still gorgeous.

"Hi. I'm Dot." she greeted.

"Logan." I replied, looking her in the eye. They was dark brown. The kind of eyes that can make you feel warm inside if they're looking at you with love or make you shrivel in terror if they radiate hatred.

"OOOOK. You're not ogling my boobs which means you're gay. And since you wern't holding Jake's hand I don't think your going out with him. Sooooo, you're here for help." Dot said. I blinked at her.

"Logan. This is Dot. She is my partner. We're matchmakers." Jake said. I blinked at them.

"What?" was the only word I could formulate.

"Matchmakers. You tell us who you're in love with. We see if you guys are made for each other. And we get you to together. We done this hundreds of times. Don't worry. A full 100% of the people we have helped ended up married. And dont get divorced!" Dot said.

I didn't know what to say, "What?"

For the next half hour Jake filled Dot in on everything. Dot's family owned Sand Witch so I got a discount on my sandwich.

"Ok. So...Kendall is down the beach?"

"Yup."

"Then what are we doing here? Let's go make him jealous!" Dot said excitedly springing up from her seat. She reminded me of Carlos with all of her energy. And was kind of like James with her beauty. Obviously she was a schemer like Kendall. And in the half hour conversation she proved to be as smart as me. She was like all of u rolled into one. A Big Time Rush Burrito. Except she was, you know, a girl.

"Umm. I'm not sure about this." I said, biting my lip.

"Oh come on! It'll be fine! I know what I'm doing!" Dot said.

"Yeah but I don't."

"Don't worry Logan. Dot is perfect. She'll direct you in the right direction."

We started down the beach again. I was munching on my sandwhich as Dot and Jake caught up with eachother. Jake had a boyfriend out east who was named John. And Dot was still with her boyfriend of 2 years. His name was Lennon.

"Doesn't Lennon mind that you're pretending to be romanticly involved with me?" I asked. Not wanting to cause problems in a happy relationship.

"Oh. No, he doesn't mind. He knows I do this to help people and that I only love him." I don't know why, but that made me kinda sad. Maybe it was because it was another reminder that I was alone while other people had already found the person they were destined to be with. And the one person I wanted to be with wasn't available.

10 minutes later we got back to the group to find that every one had eaten and was tanning. Some one had brought a few packs of beer that everyone was drinking from. They looked up at Dot with a confused look.

"Introduce me." Dot whispered so that only I could hear.

"Guys, this is Dot. Dot these are Kendall, James, Carlos, Jo, Scott, Spyke and Craig."

"Hi. How do you know Logan?" Kendall asked as Dot shook everyones hands.

"I just met him at the sandwhich shop.'' Dot replied as she shook his hand.

"WOW! You have a REALLY strong grip!" Kendall yelped, janking his hand away and accedentally dropping his beer.

"Oops! Sorry! My dad always told me that a sturdy hand shake made people think your confident, but I tend to squeeze a bit too hard." Dot reached out to shake Jo's hand but Jo simply nodded at her before turning her gross face back to the sun. Dex turned to me, eyebrows raised. _She...likes me?_ I mouthed when no one was looking.

"Damn, Logan! You're a player today!" James laughed. He was probably VERY confused as to why I was with a _girl_.

"You got both genders on your dick!" Carlos howled.

"Umm...what?" Dex said, confused.

"Nothing! Hey! I thought it was illegal to have alcohol on the beach now." I said quickly. I sat down and began stuffing my face with leftover food. The guys started laughing as I burned bright red.

"I thought that was only in San Diego." Carlos said, "But it doesn't matter. My dad's a cop."

Dex sat down next to me so that our knees would be touching. She reached around my front to grave a beer and as her mouth came near my ear she whispered, "Flirt with me."

I don't know how I could take her direction so well. It was just so automatic. I drank from her beer, ate her food and had a tickle fight. We left the beach around 6 and I got her number. She told me to text her 5min. into the car ride, to make it seem like I was already sprung. I did as she ordered. When we were in the car I saved her number and waited for 6:05.

"So, Logan. Mr. Firt Master. That Dex chick was pretty hot." James coxed. He was a bit tipsy and I was worried that he migh let some secrets slip like he did yesterday at the party.

"Yeah. Jake was too." Carlos snorted, he was completely wasted. I couldn't help but laugh at the memory. Jake and the other guys had given us their numbes too, but the one I was most concerned about was Dot's.

I punched it into my phone and texted her _Hi its logan._ SEND

"Are you texting her already?" Kendall asked. Jo turned to look at me. Glaring.

I laughed a bit, "Yeah. What can I say? We really hit it off." My phone vibrated.

_I thot u wer in luv wit K. wtf r u doing wit a GIRL?_ it was from James.

_Um...idk if im allowed to say._ SEND

James gave me an odd look but didn't text back. 2 min later Dot texted me.

_Y heloooo Low-gain! we hav MUCH planing to do!_

_ Wat do u mean?_ SEND

"Logan! You spent all day with that girl! Do you mind paying attention to US for a change?" Jo snapped. I looked up in surprise. Kendall was staring at Jo with a confused looked and Carlos and James' eyes were darting between Kendall, Jo and me.

"I **was **paying attention to you guys. So I don't know WHAT you're talking about." I replied coldly.

"Yeah! OBVIOUSLY! Especially when you were having a tickle fight with her!" Jo snarled, "You COMPLETELY ignored us! It's like you were off in your own little world with that girl!"

"Well maybe now you know how I feel when you're off with Kendall!" I shouted back. The car was silent. That last sentence was just a fucking mess and Kendall was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white.

"I-I mean how Carlos, James and I feel when you're hogging Kendall." I stammered. I wanted so badly at that moment for Carlos to slur out something stupid. My phone vibrated again: _Ummm so u lyk jo or kendall?_ It was from James.

_I LOVE KENDALL! SEND. _He texted back a smiley face.

_i mean that if u want kendall's cakes we r gonna need a plan._ It took a couple of seconds to realize that it was from Dot.

_Well wats the plan?_ SEND . And then she texted me for an hour and a half explaining the plan that was the reason behind all of the rest of my life.


	5. Ch 5 I Hate Jo

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Big Time Rush except a for couple of posters that I got in a magazine. Logan and Kendall are not dating in real life (as far as I know) and I don't own any of the characters with the exception to the ones that I made up. **

**Oh, and I am aware of a lot my grammer mistakes. I am a HORRIBLE speller and sometimes I hit the wrong buttons. Sorry. But you guys get what I'm writting, right? I hope.**

_**I HATE MYSELF! I noticed that half way through the last chapter I started calling, Dot, Dex. I guess the name Dex got jammed into my head and it was a TOTAL accident. I HATE IT when I notice my mistakes AFTER I publish something! I feel like a moron. Anyways, sorry if you were confused her name is DOT NOT Dex. My bad 100%. M'kay, my groveling is done.**_

**CHAPTER 5: I Hate Jo.**

"Is there going on between you and Jo?" Kendall demanded as soon as the door closed behind us. I was laying on my bed totally exhuasted. I looked up at him.

"WHAT? Have you lost your mind?' I asked, completly shocked.

"It's a Yes or No question, Logan." Kendall said curtly. I blinked at him. _How can he think that?_

"No! There's absolutley positivley NOTHING going on between me and Jo. Why would you even ask that?" Kendall didn't show any emotion on his face.

"Because of last week when she kissed you." I couldn't speak. I thought he had been too drunk that night to remeber anything that night.

"**Why aren't you saying anything?**" Kendall hissed.

"I thought you had been completely wasted that night."

"I remember me and her fighting then she went over and kissed you."

"She was drunk. She didn't know what she was doing." I said, paniked.

"That's what I thought. But today you two were... jealous. She was jealous of you and that Dot chick and you were-"

"Yeah jealous. Of the fact that she's always hogging you. I told you guys that in the car!" Kendall gave me a look of both confusion and exsaperation.

"You were jealous for me?" I turned away from him, knowing my face was probably burning red.

"Your my best friend. Why would you even _think_ I would want to take Jo from you?" Kendall didn't reply for a long time.

"She told me you like her." He said finally. I turned around at him, shocked. _Probably so that he would be more protective about her and would make sure I knew that she was his. She was probably trying to make me jealous._ I thought. Of course I didn't say that.

"Well, I'm not going after Jo. Besides why would I want _her_?" that last bit popped out.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Kendall growled. _Was he __**really**_defending_ her __**right**__ when I __**just**__ told him that she had __**lied**__ to him about me?_

"I mean, Jo isn't my type."

"Oh and what IS your type?" _Tall, blond, MALE...__**YOU**__. _I thought to myself, "Short, latina, with big boobs?'' Kendall snapped.

"Leave Dot out of this!" I snaped back. If I wanted the plan to work I would need to defend Dot to the bitter end. Plus, Dot was a hell of a lot nicer than Jo.

"C'mon, Logan! You say Jo is hogging me all the time! Well Jo's not here! Lets have a conversation! What's your type?" Kendall was shouting now.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" I shouted.

"I'm trying to have a conversation! Since I'm such a horrible person who ignores his friends!"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT?" I screamed. Kendall walked up to me and got right in my face.

"YOU WANNA FIGHT?" he shouted, he shoved me down on to the bed, "I'LL BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU!" I stood up and got in _his_ face.

"WHAT THE **FUCK** IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE FOR NO FUCKING REASON!"

We were standing close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. His fists were clenched and his muscels were tence. They must have been rock hard. I fought the urge to touch them. _He wouldn't be saying any of this if he were drunk._

"I HAVE A DAMN GOOD REASON!" Kendall screamed.

"WHAT IS IT THEN? BECAUSE, FRANKLY, I WANT TO KNOW THE REASON WE'RE EVEN FIGHTING!"

"YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE JO FROM ME!"

"NO I'M NOT! I TOLD YOU ALREADY!"

"THEN WHY DID SHE TELL ME YOU WERE?"

"I DON'T KNOW! BUT SHE'S FUCKING LYING TO YOU!"

"NO SHE'S NOT! JO WOULDN'T LIE TO ME!"

I didn't yell back. I started at him trying to find traces of the fun loving Kendall I knew, "You trust her more that you trust me?" My voice quivered and Kendall faltered. He didn't know what to say.

"For the record. I don't like Jo." I said, keeping my voice as steady as possible, "She is disgusting looking. She looks like a stick covered in a thin layer of over-tanned flesh." and with that I turned and walked out of the room. Fighting back the tears that were already whelling up in my eyes. James and Carlos were sitting at the table with Jo who for some reason was in my apartment, in my kitchen, in my _life_. They had heard everything. _I hate you Jo. I really REALLY do._

She was the reason behind all of this.

**This is too short for my liking. Sorry.**


	6. Ch 6 I Love Her

**CHAPTER 6: "I Love Her"**

I slammed the car door shut and revved the engine. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw James and Carlos sprinting to the car. I tore out of the parking lot before they could reach me. I didn't know where I was going. Just away from Jo and Kendall. Tears were swarming my vision and I knew I was going to have to pull over for my own saftey and the other people on the road's. I was going WAY passed the speed limit and I managed to get to half way to Malibu in 25 minutes. I pulled over onto the side of the road and sobbed my eyes out.

Kendall picked Jo. He may not know that he picked her over me but he did. There's no point in trying to go with the plan with Dot. Kendall wasn't going to fall for me.

There was a tap on the window. I looked up startled. It was hooker. She was looking at me funny.

"You ok, Hun?" she asked. She obviously wanted to make some money. But she could be an undercover cop... _fuck it. _I rolled the winow down.

"How much?" I asked.

"What you want?"

"To talk."

"Huh?" she looked confused. I took out my wallet.

"I have $57 and a coupon for a free smoothy at Jamba Juice." she looked at me funny, then shrugged and walked around to the passenger seat. I drove untill I found a motel. I got a room and led the hooker, who's name was Terri, to the room.

We sat there awkwardly for a bit untill she broke the ice with, "So...why were you crying?"

And just like that my dam broke. I sobbed. And wailed. And told her _everything_. From when I found out I was in love with Kendall when I was 12 to today. It took a little over 3 hours to tell it all and Terri didn't interupt once.

Hookers make good therapists.

When I was done I was curled up on my side on the bed. Terri was strocking my hair soothingly. _Just like Kendall did last week_. I thought. And that made me start crying all over again.

"Aww, Hun. I wouldn't give up just because some skinny bitch got in your way. If anything you should be trying harder. That plan with that Dot chick seems pretty legit."

"You think?" I sniffled.

"Yup." I chewed it over for a little while.

"Yeah...I guess."

"Now your talking, Hun! You go get your man!" Terri giggled at the last bit. I looked up at her and couldn't help but chuckle to.

"You know what, Logan? If Kendall doesn't pick you he must be _out of his mind!_ You are a cutie and you seem like a sweetheart. If I were a Kendall I'd of jump your bones a long time ago."

"Really?" I asked in surprise. I rolled over onto my back.

"Yup..." the conversation lulled untill Terri said, "You know...You already could... I mean...you already paid..." I looked up at her and the new motto of my life flashed in my mind: _Fuck it._

* * *

><p>I got to 2J around 2:30 in the morning. I could see why Terri cost $100 a night. I only paid all of my secrets and a coupon for Jamba Juice. I opened the door to my bedroom and flicked on the light. Kendall's sleeping form let out a groan as he covered his eyes. He wasn't in his PJs. He must have been waiting up for me.<p>

"Logan?" Kendall slurred. I froze. Kendall sat up staight.

"I was worried. It turned night and you sti-" Kendall took a good look at me. My mussed up hair, crinkled clothes and the 3 new hickies that Terri gave me. I bet he could smell that sex on me.

"Where the hell have you been?" he hissed.

"Oh, Lord! We are not about to have another shouting match right now! I'm to flippin' tired!"

"From doing what?" Kendall snapped.

"Does it matter?" I snapped back, shedding my jacket. I took my clothes off and slipped into my pajamas. Kendall snatched up my shirt and smelled it.

"This smells like perfume. Who were you with?"

"Ok! Obviously you know who I was with and what I was doing! So how 'bout you stop asking questions that you already know that answers to!"

"No. I don't know who you've been with." I sighed with frustration.

"Ok. You don't know. And no, I wasn't with Jo. But you know what I was doing so-," Kendall opened his mouth to say something, _He wants me to say it_, "I WAS HAVING SEX OK? Shit! Do I have to spell it out for you?" I stormed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Kendall appeared at the doorway.

"I'm sorry." I said finally. Unable to bear his stare any longer.

"For what?"

"I don't know! For whatever you're mad at me about!"

Kendall shook his head, "No, Logan. I should be the one apologizing. I never should have believed Jo over you." I stopped brushing and turned to look at him, "It's just that...well thought of you two together made me so _mad_. And I kinda freaked out when we were coming back from the beach and you and her were arguing and well, you know. It defenitley sounded like you two were, you know, and the thought made me see red-" he looked up at me and locked his gaze with mine, "I love her."

That sentence was the reason behind all my pain.

**Another short chapter. :-\ hmm... I don't like making my chapters short. **


	7. Ch 7 The Plan Goes Into Action

**I don't own BTR.**

**I'm uploading 3 times today because there was a review that begged me to upload more. So you can thank that reviewer. :)**

**CHAPTER 7: The Plan Goes Into Action**

_Why must you be so fucking aggitating?_ I thought bitterly. Jo was at our apartment, eating the food I had cooked as a Welcome Back favor for Mrs. K. They would be arriving any minute. And so would Dot. Stage 1 of The Plan: Make sure _everyone_ knew that we were "dating".

"And I told her, "Those jeans don't even look good on you!" and she was like crying about it, but when I want a pair of jeans I will going to Hell and back for 'em." Jo said, her mouth obnoxiously full with food that _wasn't_ for her. But Kendall had insited she come.

When he told me he loved her in the wee hours of the morning that Sunday I nearly had a stroke. Now the cozy little couple was using the L word all the fucking time.

_Aww. Kenny! Thank's for these earings! I love you!_

_ Jo! I'v been wanting that hockey stick! I love you!_

_ I love cupcakes with sprinkles Kenny! I love you!_

_ I'm going to the store want anything? 'k. Bye! Love you!_

_ I'm going to the bathroom! Love you!_

_ Hi! Love you! Bye!_

_ So the weather is noce today huh? Oh! I love you!_

And it's only been a day and a half! I was going to hurl up my guts out if I heared that motherfucking work again.

There was a knock on the door. Kendall went and opened it. With Jo stuck to his hip, of course. There was Mrs. K and Katie looking pale and aggitated.

"WELCOME BACK MAMA KNIGHT!" we all said simotaniously. Katie saw the dino chicken and attacked. Mrs. K went around and hugged everyone.

"Who cooked all of this?" Mrs. K asked. Everyone pointed at me as they tucked in. Jo had taken my seat next to Kendall and I refrained from kicking her in the face.

Gosh. All this hatred for Jo was making me violent.

I went and got a spare chair and put it next to Katie who was already on her laptop surfing the Web. 5 minutes into the meal I got a text message.

_Wen i get there give me a kiss on the cheek& greet me warmly. Dot_

There was a knock at the door. I stood up and opened it. There was Dot looking great in normal skinny jeans and a tee shirt. No make up or hair guck.

"Hey!" I greeted. She stepped inside and gave me a hug as I gave her an obvious peck on the cheek.

"Hi! Sorry I'm late! You know how L.A traffic is!" I led her to the table were Jo was staring daggers at us and Mrs. Knight looked confused.

"Mrs. Knight this is Dot my...friend." I gave her a rehersed smile that she returned. I don't know when I because such a good actor. Maybe it was all those years of pretending to be straight and all of Kendall's schemes. The way I punched the word "friend" made Mrs. K chuckle.

"Hello, Dot. Wow! You are gorgeous!" Dot trurned a convincing shade of pink.

"Well thank you. So are you!" Mrs. Kight beamed.

"Umm...Dot you can take my seat. I'll go get another chair." I offered. Dot sat down and the plan rolled into action.

4 hours later Dot went home, giving me a quick peck on the lips -like we had planned- and Mrs. K wouldn't stop talking about how much she liked her.

"She was so sweet. You would expect someone that pretty would be a snob but she was just so sweet."

Jo was, unfortunatley, still here. And was doing nothing to help with the cleaning.

"Oh please! All she did was kiss butt." Jo snapped. Mrs. K looked at her with a surprised look. As if she didn't expect Jo to be such a bitch.

"Well I liked her. I like her at the beach and I like her now." Carlos stated.

"Thank you, Carlos." I smiled.

"So, Logan, she's your...friend." Mrs. K coaxed. I willed my face to turn red which, honestly, wasn't that hard.

"Um...you could call her that."

"Or we could call her..." Kendall pressed.

"My girlfriend."

Jo started chocking on some leftover dino chicken and Kendall's eyes bugged out. And those two reactions were the reasons behind me going through with the plan.

**I will be in Mexico all weekend. So I probably won't upload more untill Monday. I'M SORRY! But I can't take my laptop without my family having a bitch fit.**


	8. Ch 8 Phase 2 Make Kendall Want Me

**PLEASE**_** FORGIVE ME! I bet some of you think I was killed in Mexico, but no.**_** I live**_**! And I been working my ASS OFF writing this story! But school stuff just fucked me over! I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! Ok, groveling done.**_

OK! My house was broken into and my other laptop was robbed. Luckily I had already uploaded this section of the story so I can still work on it.

Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but Logan and Kendall get it on so... :)

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**CHAPTER 8: Phase 2- Make Kendall Want Me**

No! Go read the bold and underlined at the top! It's up there for a reason and **I need you to read it**. Now go, read it now. It's up there. ^^

Okay, now here's the story. :) AGAIN! Sorry it's so damn late.

"Quit it! Dot! Stop!" I laughed...obnoxiously loud. Dot and I were sitting on my bed doing nothing but shouting.

"Aww! C'mon, Logan! Please? For me?" Dot shouted.

"No! I'll look ridiculous!"

"You never look ridiculous!" Dot added some lust in her voice. Dot and I giggled. We let there be silence for a bit.

For the past 3 months we had been the cutest couple at the Palmwoods. Dot was a genius and had manage to cook up plans on the spot to make it seem that they were head over heels in love. Kendall and Jo had walked in on Dot and I (or Dogan as the Palmwoods kids put it) "making out" at least twice a week and at one point Kendall had "jammed my mojo" and totally "cocked blocked" me. Dot and I would die of laughter on the phone and I couldn't believe the plan was actually working.

For the last 3 minutes however, we had locked themselves in mine and Kendall's room and were shouting some suggestive things. The silence was to make it seem like we were doing some...adult...activities. Dot shifted her position on the bed to make the bed springs creak and I kicked my shoes off at the door.

If you were sitting outside on the couch, like James, Carlos and Kendall were, you might have thought that me and Dot were having a hot-n-heavy make out session. I could hear James and Carlos were laughing and Kendall hissing that we better not be on his bed.

But in actuality me and Dot weren't even touching. We had at least a foot of space between us and we were too busy stifling laughter to even look at each other.

Dot shifted her position again so that she was lying on her back and the bed creaked so loudly James, who was sitting closest to the TV, could hear it.

It went on for at least another 5 minutes until I let out a laugh that made Dot laugh and then we totally gave it away.

"Ok. When I leave, if they ask why we were laughing when we supposed to be making out, say we were spooning and that I said something funny. If they ask what I said say that it's privet." Dot instructed as she mussed up her hair, "Oh and we start Phase 2 of the plan today. So take your shirt off. We want Kendall to see your lovely little six pack."

I smiled at her. Kendall had seen me without a shit on plenty of times. What with hokey and sleepovers and the fact that it got REALLY hot in L.A. But for the past 3 months Dot had toned me up. I was pretty fit before, but Dot got me to a James Level. I peeled my shirt off and messed up my hair. I was wearing sweat pants and Dot shimmied them down to my hips. She stood back to look me over.

"You know, if I wasn't in love with Lennon I would totally hit on you." I laughed, but then something I'd been wanting to say for a while creeped into my brain.

"Hey, Dot? Am I ever going to get to meet Lennon?" Dot stared at me but then nodded. You can come over to my place and say you're meeting my parents. Our relationship is getting that "serious". I'll tell Lennon to come over." We left the room, the guys' eyes followed us. Dot opened the door but before she left we shared a long kiss. As real as it looked it was pretty neutral. Dot left and I went to sit between Carlos and James. I let out a satisfied sigh and waited for the questions.

"Dude! When did you get that fit?"

"Is Dot a good kisser?"

"Do you mind being quieter next time?" James, Carlos and Kendall all asked in that order.

I turned to James, "I like looking good. And Dot isn't complaining."

To Carlos, "Amazing."

I looked over to Kendall and blushed, "Sorry, man. Couldn't help but make a bit of noise. You know how it is, right?"

Kendall turned his attention to the television, "No, actually, I don't. Jo isn't as easy as Dot." The way he said it ticked me off a bit.

"Dot isn't easy. We've been dating, what? 3 months? Do you honestly think we're having sex already?" The guys looked at me.

"You haven't gotten laid?" Kendall said with a smirk.

"Well you haven't either." I said, somewhat defensively, "And you and Jo have dated HOW long?" Kendall got grumpy again as James and Carlos laughed.

"Hey, Gustavo is on vacation for 3 more days right?"

"Yeah, why?" James asked.

"Because I'm meeting Dot's parents tomorrow." I said casually, looking at the screen. No one said anything for a while. Then:

"Are you guys that serious?" Kendall's voice was quiet and curious. Carlos and James were also looking at me with intrigued looks and I felt myself heat up a bit.

"Yeah. I guess we are." I turned to the TV again and no one said anything. We watched a marathon of Man vs. Food until it was dark out. Carlos and James were slumped over each other, asleep. I stood up and stretched my arms over my head. Secretly flex my now defined arms.

"Well, Imma hit the hay." I yawned, "I'll be in the shower if you need me."

45 minutes later I stepped out of the shower feeling fresh and clean. The towel was wrapped loosely around my waist as I looked for some jammies.

"Logan." I gave a jump and my towel nearly fell. I caught it in time and turned to see Kendall sitting on his bed with an amused expression.

"Wow there partner. Tie that thing right." He laughed. I blushed and held it around my waist. I quickly put on my boxers and threw the towel on the bed.

"You scared the Bujeezus out of me!" I replied with a smile. I turned and bent over to pick up the PJ's I'd dropped. Kendall didn't reply. I looked up at him and he had this really funny look on his face.

"Wow. Deja' vu! I feel like I've been here before. With you wearing nothing but boxers and me scaring you." Kendall laughed, "But when were you ever just randomly in boxers?" I felt my face redden but Kendall wasn't looking at me. He was lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Kendall kept talking as I pulled on a shirt to sleep, but then remembered Phase 2: Make Kendall Want M-

"...I want you to come with me, Logan." Kendall's voice drifted into my ears. That last bit made my head jerked up and I stared at him.

"What?"

"I said that you were right that day at the beach. I do ignore you guys. So I want to do something special for you guys, to make up for all the ignoring. I already know what to do but I'll have to break a date with Jo, and I want you to come with me, Logan."

"To break your date?"

"Yes. Because Jo is scary." I took the shirt off and threw it on the ground.

"Is there a reason you took your shirt off?"

"It's a hot night. I'm going to sleep. We'll go get Jo mad tomorrow." I stretched (flexed) as I dropped onto my bed.

"I was hoping to go right now." Kendall admitted, "So that by morning she'll be ok with it."

I snorted, "Jo? Ok with it?" I laughed. I looked at Kendall. He was looking at me with a stern look.

"Ok ok. We'll go tomorrow."

"TONIGHT!" Kendall shouted. He jumped up and graved my hand. He pulled me off the bed and tugged me to the door.

"Kendall! I'm not even wearing pants!" Kendall got some sweats off the ground and threw them at me as he continued to pull me along. I pulled the pants on in the living room and stumbled along to keep up with Kendall. We walked down the hall to the elevator.

We waited for the doors to open as I stood, awkwardly, with my arms wrapped around my torso. Kendall looked at me and laughed.

"What the hell is so funny?" I huffed.

"You just look so weird without a shirt on is all." Ouch.

"What does that mean? Does my body look odd and misshapen?" I asked, panicked. _How was I supposed to look good if I have some birth defect? _

"No. you look fine. What I meant was that...well I would expect James to be the one walking around without a shirt on, not you."

"HEY! You're the one who didn't let me get a shirt!" The elevator doors dinged open and we stepped inside.

"I know but, I mean in general! You have been shirtless all day since Dot left."

"I was too lazy to put a shirt on." We rode up for a bit and walked out of the elevator before Kendall spoke again.

"You really like this girl don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. She's just so cool and easy to be around. I hope her parents like me." _I hope Lennon likes me!_ Kendall nodded and didn't say anything until we reached Jo's apartment. I felt kind of bad for lying to Kendall, but it was for the greater good.

Kendall knocked on the door.

"Why do you want me here again?" I asked.

"Because Jo is scary when she's mad." Kendall said in an odd voice. I looked at him and realized for the first time how nervous he was.

"Kendall calm down, it's not like she's gonna break up with you over it." Though I wouldn't put it past her.

"You're right. She won't mind so much. Everything will be fine."

"So...what do you need me for?"

"So that you can drag my unconscious body back to 2J."

"WHAT?" At that moment Jo opened the door. Kendall smiled but she was staring at me.

"Why is Logan standing outside of my apartment without a shirt on?" Kendall and I didn't know how to respond so I just said, "Jo, Kendall and I are here to-"

"Ok, no! Kendall, I am NOT having sex yet! And I am NOT having a threesome with you and Logan!" My face turned red as Kendall laughed. Jo stood there with her hands on her hips.

"No no no no no! Jo! Of course not! I'm just here to tell you that I can't make it tomorrow. I know I said we were going to the movies but-"

"WHAT? KENDALL NO!" Jo shouted. I jumped, startled, as Jo dragged Kendall into the apartment. I followed, not wanting to be standing in the hallway half naked.

I sat on the couch as Kendall and Jo argued.

"Kendall, no! I was looking forward to this!"

"No you weren't! You complained because you had planned to go to a spa resort for the weekend! Plus, you can still go seeing as how you probably booked in your reservation anyway!"

"Why would you cancel at such a short notice? What if the guys have something to do tomorrow?" Jo demanded.

"Holy crap, Kendall! I have to meet Dot's parents tomorrow!" _Uh-oh_.

Jo stared at me, "You're meeting Dot's parent? You've only been dating for 3 months!"

"What does it matter?" I asked noticing the jealousy in Jo's voice.

"CAN WE FOCUS?" Kendall shouted. Jo and I waited, "Now I am aware that this is sudden but, Jo, we can reschedule, and Logan, what we're doing is going to be at night time."

"An what exactly will you boys be doing at night time?" Jo snapped.

"It's a secret." Kendall replied with a smile. _Smooth. _

"A secret from everyone or a secret from me?" Jo snarled, she was getting pissy.

"From everyone!" Kendall replied. "And it will be awesome."

* * *

><p>Half an hour later Kendall and I were walking back to 2J. Kendall was sporting a hand print on his left cheek and he was rubbing his scalp.<p>

"Jo is a lot stronger than I thought." I said, breaking the silence. We were in the elevator. Kendall nodded.

"Listen, Kendall. I appreciate you getting your ass kicked so you and can hang out with me, Carlos and James, but I can't cancel on Dot."

"You won't have to! As long as you come home around 7:30, everything will be fine. What I have planned is a night time thing."

"Yes, and what exactly are you planning?"

"A guys night out."

"So you want me to go drinking, flirting and clubbing with you guys after I met my girlfriends parents?"

"Yup. Jo's been my girlfriend for MONTHS and I'm going. So, so are you." We stepped into 2J and I shimmied the pants off when we entered our room.

That made me think, "If you love Jo so much, why are you so willing to cheat on her?"

Kendall looked at me, startled by my question, "I'm not cheating on her! I'm just going to drink! James and Carlos are the only ones who will be flirting. I've never cheated on Jo."

I gave him a WTF? look and he added, "SOBER! By the way Logie. WHO IS THAT GIRL?"

"For the love of God, Kendall! I am never going to tell you!"

"Why not?"

"You don't want to know!"

"Yes I do!" I sighed in frustration. When Kendall was drunk he knew I was the girl. But when he was sober he was completely clueless...or was he? I was sick of the mind games and confusion so I said:

"You know who it is."

"What? No I-"

"Yes you do." Kendall was giving me a weird look and but I rolled over onto my side and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"LLOOOGGGAANN!" The door burst open along with the light. I could hear Kendall groan from his bed as a person jumped into my bed.<p>

"Logan! Wake up!" Dot started jumping up and down until I sat up. My head was foggy but Dot threw me out of bed and into the bathroom.

"Take a shower! We're meeting my parents for lunch." I grumbled a reply as I closed the door. I walked out in my towel feeling awake and stupid for stepping into the shower with my socks on. Dot was sitting on my bed laughing her butt off. Kedall was laughing too. _At least he likes her._

They saw me and Dot shoved some clothes into my arms. Kendall and I waited for her to get out so I could change but she sat back down on my bed.

"Hurry. It's 11:17! We're meeting my parents at 12:30."

Kendall smirked at me as I put my boxers on without removing my towel. Dot could really make things awkward.

* * *

><p>Dot was driving as I bit my lip. I didn't know why but the idea of meeting Lennon made me nervous.<p>

"Hey, you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I was just thinking...what if Lennon doesn't like me?"

Dot stared at me and started laughing hystericaly, "Logan you're the oddest person I've ever met!"

"Thank you. Really."

"Lennon really doesn't care that I'm helping you. He trusts me to not fall for anyone. He knows I love him." Again, that sad feeling hollowed out my chest just like the first time Dot sspoke of Lennon. I craved to have a relationship like that with Kendall. For him to know I loved him and for him to love me back.

Dot talked all the way to the resturant where meeting Lennon. When we pulled into the parking lot I was a bunddle of nerves.

We walked into the restaurant, Dot looked around until she found Lennon. Imagine Zayn Malik, if Zayn Malik was as tall as James. Lennon was handsome beyond belief and when he shook my hand I could tell he could probably give Frieght Train a run for his money in an arm wrestling match.

"Hey, I'm Lennon." Hey greeted in a deep voice. Dot kissed him and sat down.

"Logan." I squeaked. I sat down stiffly as the waiter came and gave us menus.

No one said anything for a while. Dot was smiling at my awkwardness and Lennon was just sitting there. Staring at me, kindly.

"Are you always this stiff?" He asked after a while.

"Me? N-No." I felt like should have said something else, but I couldn't come up with anything.

"So...you're gay?" Lennon asked. My face turned red and Dot started laughing. I nodded at him and couldn't bring myself to make eye contact, "Oh, don't be shy about it. I don't mind! I'd prefer Dot to fake date a gay guy than a straight one. That way there's no chance of you falling for her."

Dot smiled at Lennon in the most loving way. I would love for Kendall to look at me like that.

"Ok. Don't worry. I love someone already."

"His name's Kendall, right?" Lennon said.

"How-"

"Dot tells me everything."

"Oh." Awkward silence. Carlos, James and Kendall were always the talkative ones.

"Ok, so the USA sends astronauts out into space. When the austronauts try to write they're reports they discover that their pens don't work because Earth's gravity isn't there to help with the flow of the ink in the pen. NASA then spend the next 10 years and a shit load of money to make a pen that works in space. Russia used a pencil." Lennon said. Dot and I both stared at him.

He smiled at us.

And I let out a snort that made all of us start lauging. And from there everything was easy.

An hour later we were finishing dessert, laughing about another joke Lennon had said.

"M'kay. Lennon, Logan and I have to talk buisness real quick. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Go ahead."

Dot turned to me and said, "You need to nail Kendall."

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"DOT! We're in public!" I squeaked, looking embarrassed as Lennon left.

"Well! It's been MONTHS since you two...you know. So we need you and Kendall to get drunk together."

"Well, we're going to a club tonight." Dot clapped her hands together.

"THAT'S PERFECT! You have to make sure Kendall and you end up together. No matter what! Oh, and before you leave for the night, call me, lie to me by telling me that you're going to bed and when you hang up the phone say you love me. Make SURE Kendall's in the room when you do!"

I almost spit out my orange juice, "L-love?"

"Yes! He already thinks we're getting serious! So we can mesh Phase 2 and 2 and1/2 together. Make Kendall want you by having sex with him and make him jealous by using the L word."

"Are you sure? I mean...I dunno."

"Logan, when have I ever steered you wrong?" I felt slightly lightheaded about what she was asking me to do. We weren't supposed to start Stage 2 & 1/2: Make Kendall Jealous until next month.

"Ok. I'll do it." Lennon came back and we left. Lennon had to go to work and Dot had stuff to plan. It was only 2 in the afternoon, so I figured I had time to kill since Kendall told me to be home by 7:30. I had about $70 bucks and an entire afternoon. I'm not going to bore you with the details. Point is, by the end of the day the Barnes and Nobles salesman new me by name and the geeky girls IN the Barnes and Nobles thought I was going to call them.

By the time I went back to the Palmwoods it was 6:45 and the sun was setting. No body was home when I got there so I did what any geeky 16 year old boy does when he's home alone... I read a book! You filthy minded animals.

It turned 8:30 and I was growing impatient. Just when I thought they weren't coming Kendall came through the door with a smile on his face.

"Get ready! We're gonna PARTY!" Then James and Carlos popped out from behind him chanting, "PART-TY! PAR-TY!" I was then shoved into the bathroom and ordered to shower. I cleaned myself from head to toe. I even used that gook James was always trying to make Kendall and I use. I needed to be PERFECT for Phase 2. Carlos was ready by the time I was out and James in the shower. Kendall wadded into the bathroom after me and I saw that they had already picked out an out fit for me. Apparently I wasn't allowed to dress myself today. I could tell James picked it out, because it was so perfect but I think Carlos got to pick the socks out because when I put them on he asked me if they were my favorite.

James didn't come out of the shower until 10 and Kendall was growing impatient. But James refused to leave the apartment until he was PERFECT, so we didn't leave until 11.

Kendall drove a good 20 mph over the speed limit. The all laughed at me as I freaked out in the passenger seat and demanded the wheel.

"Kendall! You are going to get us pulled over! And _I'M_ the one with the learners permit!"

"Logan, you don't even know where the club is. Plus, if you drove we'd get there next week." James and Carlos laughed.

"Kendall, we are going to die if you don't slow down or pull over!"

"Calm down, Logan, geez, show some trust for once."

"I DO trust you. Just not behind the wheel!"

"Logan can you PLEASE just sit back and stop complaining about my driving skills?"

"WHAT driving skills?"

"You two fight like a married couple." James snicker from the back seat. I shot him a glare but he looked out the window innocently.

"Ha ha." Kendall snapped, "Logan, you can blame the pretty one for my driving fast. We COULD have left an hour ago but SOMEONE had to perfect himself."

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" I screamed as Kendall slammed on the brakes and shouted, "WE'RE HERE!"

Kendall had stopped in front of a club that had it's name in bright, big neon lights. THE JUNGLE. There was a line that went on damn near down the block. There were guys looking spiffed out and girls with puffed hair, too much make up and leopard print dresses (how appropriate). Kendall parked the car and got out. James and Carlos followed him out of the car, and I followed after rolling up all the windows that THEY had left open.

By the time I caught up to them James and Kendall were, for lack of a better word, swaggering to the front of the line. Carlos followed behind, bouncing around excitedly.

"Can I help you?" the big bouncer at the door snarled.

"Yeah, you could move out of the way and let us in." Kendall replied smoothly.

"I don't-" SMACK!

"LEO GIOVANNI TORANCE! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU YOU ASS WIPE!" I guess I'm the only one who heard the lady scream because no one else turned around to see a guy holding his face and the angry lady that had obviously slapped him. The guy, Leo, was wearing very expensive looking clothing and was looking at the lady like she was insane. The lady, who was decked out in stuff straight out of Vogue, stormed off and Leo desperately called after her. _Someone's night is ruined_.

I turned back to Kendall and the bouncer, he wasn't letting us in.

"Unless you name is on the list I am NOT letting you in!" _How clishé_, "Gimmie you're name." Kendall, James and Carlos looked devastated, but as they looked ready to give up and idea popped into my head.

"Torance. Leo Torance." I said. The boys looked at me like I'd lost my mind, but the bouncer's attitude immediately changed.

"M-Mr. Torance, sir! Come on in! Are these guys with you?" Kendall's eyes bugged out. I nodded.

"Yes they are, and I expect them to be treated as well as me!" I didn't know who Leo was, but I knew he was powerful.

"What about Yolli, sir? Is she not with you today?"

"Nope. Left her her sorry golddiggin' ass. NO MORE QUESTIONS!" I shouted as I walked into the building. The bouncer didn't stop me or the buys as we walked into the building. Once we were inside the guys started cheering.

"Holy shit, Logan! That was- just- HOLY SHIT!" James shouted.

"YOU ARE AWESO- hey gorgeous!" Carlos walked off, following some girl that was showing too much. Kendall patted me on the back as we made our way to the bar.

"Hey barkeep! You got Leo Torance waiting here!" Kendall shouted.

"Kendall! What the hell are you doing?"

"Hey! If saying you're Leo Torance got us into this club instantly what else can it do?"

The Bartender came over and said, "Mr. Torance, sir! Please! You're private room is ready! Drinks are on the house all night." Kendall, James and I stared at the bartender like he was Jesus.

"Holy SHIT Logan! You are a GENIUS!" James shouted.

"Hey! My name is Leo!" The boys cheered as we made our way to our own room.

"I will see you guys later, I saw like 12 chicks out there that would look good in absolutely nothing." James swaggered out the door leaving me and Kendall alone.

"Well since the drinks are free..." Kendall took a drink from the mini fridge in the room. And that's how the night started. Kendall drank and drank. I sipped and sipped. Twice James came back to the room with a different chick, got her drunk and left somewhere with her. We didn't see Carlos until he came by by accident and took one of the bottles of Chardonnay to "entertain 3 of his new lady friends".

Me and Kendall just got drunk together. By the time it was 1:30 I was drunk and he was WASTED.

"Hey Loooogan." Kendall slurred.

"Yep?"

"Why are you so sexy?"

"Because, my body grew that way." Kendall started laughing and that made me laugh. We were sitting next to each other on a long couch, Kendall was slumped over and I was slumped away from him. My leg was up over his lap and he was holding onto it for no real reason. I wasn't really aware of anything, my head was buzzing from the drinks and Kendall's hands on my leg were not helping. I had the nagging sense I was supposed to do something, but I couldn't remember what it was.

"Hey Kendall?

"Yes, Oh Sexy One?"

"Why do you only fuck me when you're drunk?" Kendall looked at me and for a second I thought he was angry, but then his hand started creeping up my leg. I stared at it as it slowly came up. He ran his hand in my inner thigh, and just ran his hand lazily and teasingly.

"Because, I'm not brave enough to fuck you when I'm sober." I tore my eyes away his hand and I looked him dead in the eye. Strangely enough I wasn't insulted. _I'm not brave enough..._ Kendall was the bravest person I knew. For him to say something like that...

"I would love nothing more, but to spend every second of everyday with you but I'm not brave enough." Kendall went on. His voice was quivering slightly and his words were too much. I started to tear up, not for me, but for him. He was too scared to love me.

"I can wait for you to be ready." I said. Kendall looked me in the eye and he smirked.

"That's odd. Logie being the brave one." Again, I wasn't really insulted. I was crying by then, poor Kendall. Kendall saw that I was crying.

"None of that Logie! You're too precious to cry." He reached over and wiped my tears away. His touch sent sparks through me. I now he felt them too because he let his hand linger on my face.

"I love you so much, Logie." My stomach knotted up in the most terribly wonderful way and before I could even process what he was doing Kendall was lying on top of me, kissing my neck.

"Kendall! We're in public!"

"I can't help it!" He said as he kept kissing me.

"You just said-"

"No one will see us." Ouch. But I let it slide because at that moment Kendall was grinding into me in the most amazing way.

"Kendall! We can't have sex in the middle of a club!"

"Yes we can, we're just not supposed to." That bipolar state that alcohol got Kendall in was just odd to me. One second he was down on himself, the next he was Mr. Confidence again. Odd. But hot.

"Kendall! No-_oh_." Have I mentioned how magically Kendall can move his hips? We he's dancing or walking or grinding into my groin. _Woah_. His lips went up my neck to my jaw line, and his hand started creeping up my shirt.

"Kendall, what if someone walks in?"

"Who? James or Carlos? They're drunk!"

"But what if-"

"Shhh." Kendall shushed me with a kiss. I moaned into it and I was getting...excited. Kendall was too, but as badly as I wanted to do it, I was still Logan. I know I said I didn't mind talking risks but I was not about to do _it_ in public!

We came up for air and I blurted out, "We should go home. NOW." Kendall looked up at me.

"Why? Here's fine."

"Because, you can do a lot of more things to me in a bed." Ok, it was cheap trick, but how else was I supposed to get him to go! Kendall sprang up and pulled me up with him.

"You go find Carlos and I'll find James." He ran from the room and I was left light headed and amused. I wanted Kendall in bed. I had to find Carlos FAST. I walked out of our room and started walking around. The noise made it impossible to shout for him, and even if he could hear me I doubt he would separate himself from his lady friends. _If I were Carlos in a night club, where would I be?_

"CAR-LOS! CAR-LOS! CAR-LOS!" _Aah crap_. The chanting was coming from the bar. I made my way to the bar and I had to struggle past people before I saw what the whole commotion was. Carlos. Standing on top of the bar. With two chicks giving him shot after shot...off their chests. They had the shots between their boobs and Carlos was taking the shots out of their bras...with his mouth. I groaned. _If this gets in the papers Gustavo will kill us._

"CARLOS! CARLOS GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW!" Carlos looked around and saw me. He smiled down at me.

"Hey buddy! Low-gain! Get up here bud- WOOOOAH!" Carlos fell off the bar and landed on a sea of hands. They lowered him down to the ground and he slumped against me.

" 'm sleepy, Logan."

"Ok, let's get you home." Geez, I should never let these guys get drunk ever again. Okay, math moment: Drunk/ Horny Me + Lifting/ Dragging Wasted Carlos = BAD! We stumbled around and people kept trying to dance with Carlos. It wasn't fun. I finally got him to the front of the club and out the door. We stumbled into the parking lot where I let Carlos crawl into the back of the Big Time Rush Mobile and fall asleep. I was on edge as I waited in the front of the car for Kendall and James. I waited 10 minutes until I got a text from Kendall.

_Help me. James doesn't want to get out._

I snorted and went back inside. James and Kendall were arguing in front of at least 10 girls. Damn that James. He always was a player.

"Kendall! If you don't mind I WANNA GET LAID!"

"Well SO DO I! SO I NEED YOU TO GET IN THE CAR!" _Uh-oh. _I ran the last bit of 10 feet to get to them before Kendall let slip something bad.

"James! PLEASE! We have to go!" James glared at me and shook his head. _Oh boy._ My boner was aching and I was getting desperate.

"James! I WAS THE ONE WHO USED THE REST OF YOUR CUDA MASSIVE HOLD!" James mini screamed and screamed, "YOU! DIE LOGAN!" I took that as my cue to run away. Problem was, James, Kendall and I were all drunk. We stumbled around and twice James fell over. We got out of the club, the bouncer gave us a funny look, and ran to the car.

"GET IN!" My jeans were stifling me and my dick was throbbing. James pouted as he got in the back seat, but he fell asleep on top of Carlos.

"Damn, Logie. You're in a rush aren't you?" Kendall said smugly. I glared at him as I weaved in and out of traffic. If he got sober I wasn't getting any tonight! Thankfully as bad as L.A traffic is at 1:30 pm, it's not as bad at 1:30 am. We got home in a couple of minutes and Carlos and James managed to drag themselves up to the apartment with us.

I saw Kendall disappear into our room and I didn't want him to fall asleep. I was going to follow him but then I heard:

"Logan! Tuck me in!" Carlos shouted from his and James' room.

"JAMES TUCK HIM IN!" I was ripping my jacket off, getting ready for Kendall.

"No! Logan, you do it!" I'm **trying** to _do it_! I ran to Carlos' room and found James and Carlos both in Carlos' bed in their boxers.

"_WHOA_-LY CRAP!" I was not expecting to see them like...that. James was curled up in Carlos' side, much like a kitten and it's mother. He was sound asleep but Carlos was yanking the blanket out from under them and said, "Tuck us in! James is already asleep." My face was burning red as I walked over to their bed and and tucked them in. Carlos and James snuggled into each other and my heart sort of melted.

_Aww, how cute...they're gonna regret this in the morning when they wake up but right now they look too cute._ Then and evil thought came to mind. I took out my phone and I snapped a couple of pictures. _This is for making me waste Sex Time with Kendall_. I put my phone back into my pocket and walked out, closing the door behind me softly.

Then I sprinted into my room hoping Kendall wasn't asleep. He wasn't even in his bed. He was in mine. Wearing nothing but boxers. My cock twitched. I licked my lips.

"Any day now, Logie." His voice was huskier than usual and it drove me nuts. I walked forward but Kendall held up a hand. I stopped.

"Strip for me, Logie." My face turned red. "C'mon, Logie. Take your clothes off." I took my shirt off and I ripped off my pants. Kendall stared at me, eying me up and down. He licked his lips.

"Take your boxers off." He ordered.

"You firsts." Kendall smirked and slipped his off. My knees almost gave in as I looked at him.

"Oh my." Can you say fuckable? Kendall was huge! And...excited. ;)

"Your turn." They were off in one swift movement.

"Come 'er." I jumped in his lap. And for the first time in such a long time Kendall and I let ourselves get entwined with each other. He kissed me and put is hands on my hips as I ran my fingers through his hair. I sighed as we kissed. It'd been so long and I almost forgot what it felt like. I felt that long lost jolt of electricity going from where ever Kendall touched me to every where else. Kendall rocked his hips and pulled us back so I was on top of him, straddling him.

"Oh god, Logie. I've wanted this for so long!"

"Me to-_OOH_!" Kendall grabbed me and started stroking. Everything was getting foggy and I felt something poking my entrance. Kendall pushed his index finger in me and I let out a moan. It had been so damn long since we did this, it kind of hurt.

"Ow. Kendall, ouch!"

"Sorry. I want to get you ready as soon as possible. Oh God, I want to fuck you."

"Ow. Thank-OW you. Ow ow ow." Kendall kissed me to make me shut up. He added a second finger and kissed me harder. Once he added two more.

"Ready?"

I let out a deep breath, "Yes."

"Yessss." Kendall hissed. But instead of flipping me on top of the bed he sat up and put me between his legs.

"Blow me." He demanded. He was staring at me with those green, lust filled eyes. His chest was heaving and his leg were spread wide open leaving him so exposed. My mind just stopped working. I dipped my head down between his thighs and devoured his cock.

"Aw, fuck Logan!" I started to bob my head and sucked harder, "Oh, Logan!" His pre-cum tasted amazing. I deep throated him and his entire body vibrated. He grabbed my shoulders and yanked up. Next thing I knew I was on all fours on the bed.

"Get ready Logie. Cuz I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk tomorrow." And with that he slammed into me. I let out a moan of pleasure that made Kendall laugh.

"That's right. Make those noises. I'm gonna have you screaming in a second." Kendall started thrusting, making me moan. He started thrusting harder. He hit my sweet spot so hard and fast my knees almost gave in. He peppered my back with kissed and smacked me ass.

"Oh, God, Kendall. Faster." He obeyed. He hit my spot so rapidly and so hard everything else was blurred out of existence. And I wasn't cumming. The pleasure just kept building and building. And he just kept slamming into me.

"Oh fuck, Kendall. Kendall! Oh shit, _Kendall_!"

"Oh God Logie! I need to see you!" I felt him pull out and felt like screaming. "No, Kendall! No!"

He flipped me onto my back and reentered me. He thrust his hips as he simultaneously started jacking me off.

"Damn, Logie. I'm close." I was too. But I just wasn't cumming. Not yet.

"_Fuuuuuuck_, LOGAN!" Kendall bucked his hips and hit me as dead on as ever. He came.

My senses went into absolute over drive.

Kendall's face contorted in utter bliss, his body went rigid as his grasp on my dick got stronger. All I could hear was skin slapping skin and the headboard slamming against the wall. I could smell Kendall's sweat and the testosterone that spilled out of his pores. I felt him come inside me.

That was it for me.

I came screaming. I honestly couldn't tell you how long I rode out my orgasm. All I remember was me screaming and Kendall groaning. And I saw white.

I finally came back to earth, and Kendall and I stayed still. His body was melted over mine, like the world's sexiest blanket. We stayed intertwined. Chests heaving. I didn't realize how hard we had been fucking, I was _tired_. I felt Kendall pull out and roll off of me. He gave me kisses.

"Logan, you're perfect you know that?"

"Yes." I sighed. He kissed me with a smile and we fell asleep. Not thinking of tomorrow.

**TRIUMPHANT PELVIC THRUST!**


	9. Ch 9 Step 2 and a half and Step 3

**_Hahahaha. Hey, that TRIUMPHANT PELVIC THRUST was my Author's Note XD. My bad._**

**_YOU KNOW WHAT I FORGOT? TO END THE LAST CHAPTER WITH A "And that's that reason behind..."_**

**_Shit. Anyways. You know what I noticed? The more you guys review, the guilder feel about making you guys wait. Keep reviewing. :)_**

Hey, one of my friends asked me to ask this question in my A/N, so here it is. _Do any of you know a fic: It's a Kogan fic where Logan starts to date the dance choreographer named Alec, but he turns out to be abusive. She forgot the title of it, and if any of you know it can you please tell me so she can figure it out or I can tell her? Thanks._

**ANYWAYS! I HATE THIS CHAPTER! It feels like a filler :-\ Hmm oh well. Sorry guys. I feel fucking terrible for making you guys wait so long for such a shitty ass chapter. I AM SO SORRY!**

**_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!_**

**_Again sorry for all the grammar mistakes._**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9- Step 2 and 12 and Step 3**

The first thing I heard was Kendall screaming.

"HOLY SHIT LOGAN! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHAT? **WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?**" I opened my eyes in time to see Kendall fall off the side of the bed.

"What are you talking about?" Kendall's head shot up from the side of the bed and stared at me.

"WHY WERE WE NAKED IN THE SAME BED?" I blinked at him. And remembered everything. I felt sick.

"Oh my God." _How am I going to get myself out of this?_

"LOGAN WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"

"Can you please stop screaming?"

"NO! LOG-"

"KENDALL STOP SCREAMING!" Kendall stopped and stared at me, "Are you sure you can't remember anything Kendall?"

"Not a thing." _Oh thank God,_ "Except..." _Shit! Shit Shit Shit Shit!_, "But that's not possible... **no** _way_!"

Kendall looked at me, he looked confused and distraught.

"I remember, that girl. Logie, that girl was here! But how is that possible?"

He kept staring at me and then the confusion left his eyes and I knew he knew. _SHIT! Now I'm going to have to tell him everything!_ I could feel myself slipping into an anxiety attack.

"Logan...did we," _Oh God. Oh God Oh God Oh God!_, "have a threesome last night?"

_What. _[Anxiety Attack Mode OFF.]_ Okay, he DOESN'T know.  
><em>

"YES! That is what happened." I nodded quickly. Kendall looked around the room.

"Where's the chick?" _Aw shit._

"She must have left."

"WHY IS SHE ALWAYS LEAVING?"

"She's shy?" I offered.

"What kind of shy chick has a threesome with- wait. Holy shit Logie! WE JUST HAD OUR FIRST THREESOME!"

"KENDALL! DON'T SHOUT IT!" Kendall laughed and got up on the bed.

"Damn, Logie! As homo as it may sound, I'm glad my first threesome was with though I kind of hoped my first threesome would be with two chicks." Kendall smiled down at me.

"Thanks Kendall. It's not gay if it's a threesome, right?" I forced a smile and Kendall laughed again.

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..._my phone was vibrating down in my pants. I bent over to fish them out of my pocket when Kendall went to go pee.

"Hello?"

_"Logan! You didn't call yesterday! I was beginning to worry, I've called like 5 times already."_ Dot said through the phone. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she knew what happened last night between me and Kendall and she I could tell she was smiling. _How do girls get so smart?_

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot when I got home. The guys shoved me into the shower and stuff. And I couldn't call you later on because I was...busy."

Dot laughed and said, _"That's fine. Is Kendall in the room?"_

"No, he's peeing. Listen, he thinks we had a threesome with 'That Girl' last night because I forgot to wake up before him-"

_"Wait...did you just wake up?"_

"Yeah."

_"...so as we speak...you're naked."_

"...Yes." Dot let out a snort.

_"Dude, this is so wierd. I've never spoken to a naked person before! Well, except Lennon."_

"Dot, you're so odd."

_" ANY WHO! Are you up to hanging out with Lennon and I today?"_

"Oh, Dot, I would, but I'd rather not do anything to active today. I'm going to have a bit of trouble...walking today..." Dot remained silent on the phone for a second before screaming with laughter.

"_Holy shit, Logan! Hahahaha! Kendall plowed you pretty hard, huh? HAHAHA! OH DEAR LORD! I CAN'T BREATHE! AHAHAHA!"_ I couldn't help but laugh with her, until I heard the bathroom door open.

"Kendall's coming!"

"_Oh, ok. Since SOMEONE forgot to call yesterday we start Phase 2 1/2. Say I love you!_" Kendall walked to his bed and started to put some pants on.

"You love me." Kendall gave me a look. I mixture of happy, confused and surprise.

_"Jesus, Logan. How much did you drink last night? Are you still drunk right now?"_ Just then the reality sunk in. I was about to say 3 very important words without meaning it.

"Dot I-"

"_Just pretend you're saying it to Kendall." I swear, girls can read minds. "Or better yet, say it _to_ but he'll think you're saying to me."_

"Hahaha, you think you're so damn clever, don't you?"

_"Yes, yes I do."_ I laid back on the bed. Kendall was still getting dressed around the room, his back was too me but I could tell he was listening hard.

"I love you." I said to Kendall's back. Dot took a second to say something back.

"_You'll get him Logan. I'll make sure of it. Bye, Logan._"

"Ok, Dot. Bye." I was about to hung up and put my phone on its charger, but, "Hey, Dot. You and Lennon should come over. As long as we keep it lazy."

"_Alright , Logan. Be there in a bit._"

Kendall turned to me with a huge smile on his face. "Congrats man!"

"You act like I'm getting married." I said as I picked up some sweats off the floor and put them on. I winced slightly as I moved my bottom but thankfully Kendall didn't notice.

"No, but you know what it's like to be in love." _Yeah, I do..._

"Are you doing anything today?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I'm gonna hang out with Jo. To make up for ditching her last night."

"Ok." He finished dressing and left with a wave to me. I sighed and went to take a shower.

* * *

><p>"Come on Logan! To the pool!" Dot and Lennon each had me by the hands and were dragging me through the empty lobby.<p>

"I'm going! Hey, where is everyone?" The pool area was completely deserted.

"Who cares! We get the pool to ourselves!" Dot squealed as she stripped to her bathing suit. She jumped into the pool, followed by Lennon.

"Come on Logan!"

"Hey! You guys are here!" Kendall and Jo walked into the pool area, arm and arm.

"Hi!" Dot greeted.

"Sup!" Lennon waved. Kendall and Jo did a double take. Jo starred with her jaw dropped. _Yeah bitch, that's one more guy you want but can't have._

"Guys! This is my friend Lennon." I introduced.

"Hi." Kendall greeted. Jo stared.

"Hi, Jo." Dot smiled. Jo snapped out of it, gave Dot a dirty look and went to go lie down. Kendall followed.

"I don't think Jo likes me very much." I heard Dot say to Lennon, "Lennon, go make the pretty girl faint." Lennon smiled and swam to the edge of the pool and pushed himself out. I swear to God, Jo almost passed out. Even Kendall stared.

Lennon got out of the pool, dripping wet from head to toe, with the water dripping down his absolutely ripped torso and arms, down his cut V-line, into his swim trunks that were now riding **provocatively** low on his hips from the weight of the water. Lennon walked past Jo and Kendall casually and went to go get something to drink.

"Come on, Logan." Dot called from the pool. I threw my shirt off and jumped in. Dot swam up to me and giggled, "I think Jo's ovaries are going to explode."

I looked back at Jo and, yeah, the skank was practically drooling. Lennon came back into the pool and smiled at us, "Was I good?"

"Great." Dot said. She swam behind me and wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I felt a bit awkward with Lennon right there but he didn't seem to mind.

"Kendall? Do you wanna get in with us?" Dot called. Kendall looked up, like he was contemplating it but then Jo reared in her ugly face and sneered, "No. Kendall's tanning with me."

Dot yawned obnoxiously loud and yelled, "BORING!" Before slipping down under the surface and putting her hands on my calves.

"Dot? What are you-"Next thing I know I'm underwater. I came back up gasping for air.

"You're paying for that!" And that's how the Pool Tag started. We moved onto Marco Polo, then Tag again, then seeing who could hold their breath underwater the longest, then we raced, then we got the noodles out and that's when we became a bunch of 5 year olds. It became high noon when Dot noticed that Kendall and Jo had fallen asleep.

"I have an idea." Dot said, with a glint of mischief in her eye that would rival that of the Katie and Carlos, combined. She quietly slipped out of the pool and gestured for us to come along. Lennon and I got out of the pool and followed her over to where Jo was sleeping in her bikini. Dot grabbed the bottle of sunscreen and made me hold my palm out. She squirted a ridiculous amount on to the center of my hand and dipped the tip of her finger into it. The she bent over Jo's exposed stomach and wrote a giant C over it. She dipped her finger again and again until she had the letters **C**-**U**-**N**-**T** written across Jo's stomach in solid, think lines of sunscreen. Lennon and I were shaking from keeping the laughter in.

I looked over to Kendall's equally exposed torso and walked over to him. I did what Dot did, except I wrote **SEX BEAST** across his pecks and abs. Lennon and I were stifling laughter as Dot gestured for us to go into the lobby. We walked into the lobby and burst into laughter.

"Oh MY GOD! We're gonna get into so much trouble!" I gasped out.

"Not if we don't get caught!" Lennon said as we made our way to the elevators. We rode up to 2J to find the apartment empty. We ate and then watched a movie, trying to keep it lazy for my butt's sake. It was easy to be active in the pool since the water made me feel somewhat lighter, but in the air my ass pains were less than ignorable.

We were half way through Finding Nemo [Lennon's choice] when James and Carlos came out of their bedroom, looking hung over. I looked at the clock. 3:05 pm.

"Jeez, guys. You JUST got up?" I asked, alarmed.

"Don't talk so loud, Logan," James hissed, holding his head, "I may need to rip your throat out."

"Sorry." I whispered with a smirk.

"Hi, Dot." Carlos greeted, he looked at Lennon, "Who the hell is the big guy who looks like Zayn Malik?"

Lennon stood up and shook their hands, "I'm Lennon."

"First name John?" James asked.

Lennon looked alarmed and said, "No. My first name is Lennon."

James turn away uninterested, "Then I don't care."

"James, John Lennon died in 1980."

James let out an irritated sigh, "Wow! THANKS LOGAN! You just ruined my morning!"

"It's already 3 in the afternoon..."

"STOP YELLING SO LOUD!" James shouted, covering his ears.

"No one's yelling, James-"

"PLEASE STOP YELLING! JUST WEAR A SHIRT AND IT'LL BE FINE!" The front door opened and Kendall and Jo came storming in.

"NO I WILL NOT STOP YELLING! YOU DON'T HAVE THE WORD CUNT BURNED ONTO YOUR STOMACH!" Jo screamed. Everyone turned to stare at the newly tanned couple. It seemed than they had washed off the sunscreen to reveal that the words were still there on their chest, lighter than the rest of their bodies. I almost died when I saw how horribly sunburned Jo looked compared to the letters on her stomach.

"Wow!" Carlos shouted when he saw what was written on the bodies. Jo and Kendall turned to us, as if just realizing that there were others in the room. Jo looked ready to kill everyone, but she narrowed down on Dot.

"YOU!" she screeched, "You **FUCKING** BITCH! YOU DID THIS! ADMIT IT!" she screamed as she took steps toward Dot. Dot's face hardened into a scary snarl that I'd never seen before.

"Fuck off! You can't come in here accusing me of doing that to you, when the only people who like you in this entire fucking building are Kendall and his friends!" Jo looked taken aback.

"PEOPLE LIKE ME! I'M POPULAR!" Dot let out a snort and that seemed to set Jo over the edge.

The chick went ape shit.

She threw herself forward, arms swinging and claws ready to scrape someones face off, only to be pulled back by Kendall.

"YOU BITCH! I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME!" Jo screamed, struggling against Kendall's grip. She whirled around to face Kendall, "AND YOU! Why the fuck you get SEX BEAST on YOUR fucking chest and I get CUNT!"

Kendall, started, let go of Jo, and stared at her, "You think I did this? Why would I-"

But Jo was on a rampage. She spun around again, storm over to me and screamed, "And how the fuck am I supposed to know it wasn't you? You're that skank's boyfriend!

"Don't call her that!" I shouted. Jo's face reddened to a deep maroon and the next thing I knew I felt her long nails scrape across my face, leaving a stinging that could give Camille's slaps a run for their money. That's when Dot jumped up and shoved her back. Jo tripped over the edge of the coffee table and fell back onto her ass.

Jo jumped back up and was about to get into it with Dot when Kendall stepped in.

"JO GET OUT NOW!" Kendall bellowed. Jo took a few startled steps back.

"Excuse me?"

"Get. Out. Now." Kendall seethed. Jo stared in utter rage.

"THAT BITCH PUSHED ME AND_ I_ HAVE TO LEAVE?"

"You hit, Logie." Kendall sneered.

"SO? MAYBE IF HE WEREN'T SUCH A LITTLE PUSSY HE WOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE A HIT FROM A GIRL!"

Kendall's face got as red as hers, "**OUT**!" Jo screamed in rage and stormed out, screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs.

And then everything was quiet. Kendall turned to me, "Logie, are you okay?" The streaks where Jo scratched me stung really bad. But I nodded and walked over to where we kept the emergency aid kit. Lennon, Carlos and James stood in utter shock, staring at my face.

"Is it that bad?" I asked. Lennon and James had the decency to shake their heads, but Carlos not only nodded but blurted out, "It's like some one took a rake and scraped it across your face and ripped off the top layer of your skin."

"CARLOS!" Everyone shouted. I started cleaning off the blood from the cuts. It stung like hell and I let out a hiss. Kendall and Dot walked over.

"Logie, I'm so sorry about that! She's just in an extremely bad mood over the sunscreen an-"

"When is Jo ever NOT in a bad mood." Dot muttered. Kendall looked down at her. She looked up, looking sorry.

"Sorry I pushed your girlfriend down." Kendall sighed.

"It's fine. Frankly, I think I would have if you hadn't. I just can't believe she had the nerve to hit Logie." I started to dab the Neosporin on, but it hurt too much. I let out a whimper and Kendall looked beyond guilty.

"Logie, I am so, so, SO sor-"

"KENDALL! It wasn't your fault. She was just being a bitch, that's all. For all we know, she's PMSing."

"Hey, I never get that crazy when I PMS. That bitch cray." Dot said as she got an ice pack out of the freezer. She put it on my face and turned to Kendall.

"Seriously dude. I'm sorry, but if she touches Logan like that again, I'm kicking her ass." Dot was staring at Kendall intently, looking for his reaction. He surprised me by nodding.

"And frankly I'd let you. Nobody hits Logie. Ever. Hitting him was too far. Even for Jo." _Yeah, bitch! I'm untouchable!_

Dot smiled and turned to me. There was a look in her eye that screamed with happiness.

* * *

><p>Dot and Lennon left about an hour later. Kendall was about to go sulk in his room when James pulled him to the kitchen island.<p>

"I think that instead of having Kendall mope around over Jo, we should go out and party!"

"We went out last night."

"So? Why not again tonight?"

"You guys woke up at 3 this afternoon, do you really think you can survive another night of clubbing?"

"Hell yeah!" Carlos cheered.

"PAR-TY! PAR-TY! PAR-TY!" They cheered as they dragged Kendall to go "have some of James' swagger rub off on him".

_Oh boy. Tonight is gonna be hard to live through._

* * *

><p>We were ready to go by 8:30. But James made us wait until 10:30, so we could be fashionably late. Whatever. We played video games until, James deemed it late enough and we left. Kendall wasn't was happy as he had been the night before and that put a huge damper on the atmosphere.<p>

"Come on Kendall. Try to cheer up! We're doing all this for you." I nudged him a little and he forced a smile. I sighed.

We went to the same club we went to yesterday. The same bouncer was there, and amazingly, he remembered me. He let us in immediately, and that made Kendall let out a genuine chuckle.

"There we go buddy!" James cheered. We got to the bar and ordered a round of shots. No ID or anything. The bartender seemed to remember me too.

"Hello Mr. Leo man, sir." I waved him away and the drinking began.

* * *

><p>Turns out GETTING drunk with James and Carlos was a lot of fun. They knew a whole lot of drinking games that they probably learned from being Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood. We played about 6 different games and after failed attempts to play a 7th everyone was too drunk to play anything.<p>

We tried to dance but that didn't work out too well either. James and Carlos may have experience dancing around, completely thrashed, but Kendall and I were less than stellar.

We were tripping and stumbling around laughing like idiots.

"C'mon Logie. Dance right." Kendall ordered as he grabbed my hips and started to move them.

"You can't dance well either!" I laughed.

"I'm doing better than you!" He countered with a giggle. That was true. Kendall knew how to dance way better than me.

All the lights were blurring together, stunning my retinas and numbing my brain. The strobe lights were in sync with the fast dubstep that the DJ was blasting. I felt my body vibrating with every time bass rumbled. Everyone was moving in a swirl of colors, in time to the music.

He was trying to move my hips like his, but I couldn't bring myself to relax.

"Logie, relax, let go." He jerked my hips close to his and made us sway in time with the upbeat music. He stared to move fast, to the music, and the front of our jeans were rubbing.

_I cannot get an erection in the middle of this club!_ I though. Then Kendall leaned in and put his mouth by my ear, "I want you stretched around me." _Ah, crap. Too late._ The front of my jeans started to strain and I tried to jerk my hips away from Kendall's, but he already noticed.

"Excited much, Logie?"

"Shut up, Kendall." I replied, blushing, "Isn't it a little early to be forgetting that you're straight?"

"Oh, ouch. You're ass is gonna pay for that** later**." When he said 'later' he roughly squeezed one on my butt cheeks.

I squealed.

_Just like the very first time._

_"Jesus! _Kendall! We're in public!"

"Relaaaaaxx! They're all drunk!" Kendall smiled at me.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they can't take pictures!"

"Logie, come have a drink." Kendall said after snatching a drink from a random person. It was a fruity drink, bright red and Kendall made me drink it before I could say no as I computed the small pill that was dissolving in it. I almost flipped when I felt the not fully dissolved pill slip down my throat, but before I could scream that I'd been drugged, Kendall kissed me, right there in the middle of the club.

He pulled away and smirked at my shocked face. The last thing I remember before everything starting to blur together was Kendall smiling and laughing. He twirled me around and the rest of the club became a giant blur of lights, sounds and moving bodies.

I vaguely remembered the club lights vanishing and being replaced with the stars in the sky and Kendall and James were leading me to the car.

Carlos was jumping around, high on happiness and alcohol, behind us. Kendall and I were in the front seats. Kendall was driving. James and Carlos were talking about drunk things and the radio was blaring. Kendall was driving like a maniac.

And I felt great.

The drug had made my sense of touch, hearing and smell much more acute than normal. The leather seats felt un-Earthly under my drugged up finger tips. The wind coming in through the windows, cooling my face. I felt like I could feel every particle of dust and dirt in the air slamming into my face. I could smell the smog and cologne and sweat in the car. And Kendall's scent was intoxicating. He smelled like alcohol, sweat, cologne and alpha male. It was making _both_ my heads spin. (If you know what I mean.) And the sounds. Geez, everything sounded amplified. The music was absolutely deafening, I could hear Kendall's breathing. And then I heard it from the backseat.

The sound of two people kissing.

I turned and saw James and Carlos down each other's throats.

"Oh my god." Kendall said as he saw them through the rear view mirror, "Are they seriously...wow." He shot me a smirk and took a hand of the steering wheel and on my inner thigh. And my groin exploded. Kendall's fingers were making my thigh's nerves freak out, and my blood started rushing fast. I rested my head back. I was already breathing hard.

"Kendall," He looked over at me, "Drive faster." Kendall smiled his special smile and I felt myself get plaster to the seat as he slammed his foot down on the gas petal. Everything outside the car was blurred all the way home.

James and Carlos had separated by then. They were stumbling over each other, laughing. Acting like they hadn't been eating each others faces in the car 2 seconds ago. _Oh, the things alcohol does._

We stumbled into the apartment as quietly as 4 drunk teenage boys can and split to go to our rooms. James and Carlos were holding hands.

I giggled at the sight as Kendall and I quickly made our way to our bedroom. Kendall locked the door behind us as my drugged mind struggled to help me take off my clothes.

"I want to take a shower before we go to bed." I announced. Kendall's eyebrow shot up to hide behind his bangs as he smirked mischievously.

"Does my little Logie want to have sexy shower sex?" Kendall smirked.

"Yes your little Logie does." I smiled as I managed to keep my balance while discarding my shirt.

"Well let's go then." He said as he took my hand. We went to the bathroom as Kendall assisted me in my struggle of getting naked. I got in the shower to turn on the water. _Drug Tip: Never get in the shower while drunk and on hardcore drugs. You'll be reduced to choose between 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in the Arctic in the middle of winter._ I could feel every drop of water as it landed on my skin and rolled down, making me a raw pink color. The only reason I didn't throw a fit over the burning water was because I felt hands on my hips. Kendall twirled me around and pushed me against the tiled wall as he planted a hard kiss on my lips.

His hands cupped my face gently and his fingers glazed over the scratch marks Jo had left. Under normal circumstances it probably wouldn't have hurt, but the junk in my system made me sensitive to touch, and I couldn't help but wince. And it didn't go unnoticed. Kendall pulled back to look at where his hand was and his eyes darkened.

"I can't believe that bitch did that to you."

"Kendall, forget it, it wasn't your fault."

"I can't forget it! That bitch hit you! I would've killed her if Dot hadn't-"

"Shhh, Kendall enough."

"I want to make it up to you."

I bit my lip and smirked up at him, "Well, Sex Beast," I giggled as I traced the words on his chest, "I think that fucking me senceless would be more than enough."

His eyebrow disapeard again as he hitched up both my legs so that they were wrapped around his waist. He was the only thing holding me up off the ground. We were chest to chest as he ran his hands down my sides to my ass. He started kissing down my neck licking up the water and sending electric shocks to my groin. My dick was unbearably hard and the drugs were making the sensation of my untouched cock more noticable.

This was no time for foreplay.

"Kendall I need you NOW!" He kissed me to shut me up as his hands groped my ass. I felt him start to feel around my entrance.

"No." I panted, breaking the kiss, "Just go in."

"It might hurt."

"I don't care Kendall! Just get inside me!" I yelled despratley.

"Alright!" Kendall shouted as he plunged into me. I bit my lip to supress the scream of pleasure/ pain. I let my head fall forward into the crook in Kendall neck.

"Oh God. Kendall."

"Told you it might hurt." He said, an edge in his voice. He bit down on my vulnurable neck and started sucking on my skin as his hand creeped around to my length ans he started pumping me to distrat me.

"You can move now." I stuttered in between moans.

"I'll make you feel good Logie. Just keep making those sounds for me." He said, thrusting in sharply with ever word. I felt each thrust go all the way up to my ears and every feeling in me was amplified but distorded with the drop of water from the shower head.

My head rolled back against the wall as I moved my hips in sync with his.

"No no no, Logie." Kendall said as he removed his had from pumping me to stop my hips. I bucked my hips and let out a whine, "It's my job to make you cum tonight. Especially after what that bitch did to you today." He added softly.

I couldn't describe the feeling that was overriding my senses. Every kiss felt like a hit to my prostate, every thrust felt like and orgasm and my vision would go white around the edges. When I climaxed I wouldn't be surprised if I passed out from the feeling.

And the sound. Oh God. Like someone had put together all the porn stars of the world and put them inside of Kendall. Ever grunt, groan, moan and scream made my cock harder and harder.

And Kendall was unbelievable. He was rough and quick and an absolute beast. He was using pure upper body strength to move my body up and down his cock while he simultaneously thrusted up into me as he positively plowed me into the wall. And every thrust was making that feeling at the pit of my stomach grow and grow.

"Kendall... Oh God! Kendall!...I'm about to-OH MY GOD!" I came screaming. I felt my eyes roll back and with every orgasmic pump of my cock Kendall sent rope after rope of cum out and made my climax feel like forever. My vision went absolutely black and as I felt Kendall's seed shoot up me I thought I was on the verge of fainting from the amazing sensation.

Kendall's strength was waning and we slipped to the floor. I laid on top of my as the water hammered on my back and we both panted to catch out breaths.

"Best shower EVER." Kendall announced. I looked up at him to see him smiling down at me.

"Come one Logie. Let's get out, this tub is way too small for me." He rolled us over and stood up with some effort. I held up my arms and sat up so he could help me up, but then winced at the pain in my backside.

"Ok, you know what. How about you let me rest a bit." I said, leaning back down.

"I told you your ass would pay." Kendall said with a smirk as he stepped out of the tub. I watched him as he pulled the towel around his waist, admiring the view. He stepped out of the bathroom and into our room.

I laid there trying to regain my strength. The drugs made my head groggy and I probably laid there for a good 15 minutes before I got up, wrapped a towel around me, stepped out of the bathroom and nearly had a heart attack.

Jo was sitting on Kendall's bed.

Kendall was sitting next to her. Holding her hand. They looked up at me and they both smiled. Even in my state I knew shit was about to go down.

I froze in the doorway, not knowing what to do.

"Hi?" I tried. Jo stood up and rushed over to me and hugged me.

"Logan, I am so SO sorry for what I did to you. It was completely out of line and I hope you'll forgive me." Jo said. She pulled away from me and went to sit back down with Kendall.

_Umm...what? What the What?! WHAT?!_

"What?"

"She's apologizing for what she did to your face." Kendall said, smiling. He took her hand in his again and my fucked up brain imploded.

_Loading..._

Jo and Kendall are together, holding hands on the bed.

_Processing..._

Jo is asking for forgivness and Kendall is holding her hand.

_Computing..._

You and Kendall just had sex in that shower over there about 15 minutes ago and now he's back with Jo all of a sudden even though HE JUST FUCKED YOU IN THAT SHOWER! BUT SOMEHOW HE BACK WITH JO IN THE 15 MINUTES THAT YOU WERE ALONE IN THE SHOWER** AND THEY ARE ASKING FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS EVEN THOUGH THAT BITCH SCARRED UP YOUR FACE!** **WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?! WHEN DID KENDALL GET SOBER? IS HE FAKING? WHAT?! WHY IS JO IN OUR ROOM AT 2 IN THE MORNING? WHO LET HER IN? WHAT THE FUCK?!**

_You are now up to date with this whole fucked up situation! And you shouldn't do drugs because you can't handle them during times like this, you fucking idiot!_

"No." I blurted out. Kendall and Jo looked at me, surprised.

"What do you mean 'no' Logie?" Kendall asked. He looked angry at me. I was about to take back my rejection but the words FUCK IT were flashing in my mind. FUCK IT, FUCK HER FEELINGS AND FUCK KENDALL. HE JUST FUCKED _ME_!

"I mean no. LOOK at my face Jo! Plus you called Dot a bitch and a skank! When it heals THEN I'll consider forgiving you. And I won't forgive you if she doesn't." What she did to Dot was rude, but I mostly said no because, well, I was hurt, physically AND emotionally. Kendall had just slept with me for God's sake! And he forgave Jo pretty fucking fast!

"Ok," Jo said, she looked like she sucked a lemon when she said, "I'll should apologize to Dot too."

There was an awkward silence. Then I realized all I had on was a towel.

"Oh, um, I need to get dressed."

"Right! Sorry! I'll go!" Jo said standing up. She gave Kendall a kiss and left. I waited to hear the front door close until I spoke.

"Who the fuck let her in? How long was she here? Why couldn't she wait till morning? How-"

"Logan, SHUT UP!" I shut up.

"I let her in. I fell asleep for like 10 minutes and she called saying she was outside the apartment. She was only here for 5 minutes before you got out of the bathroom. She didn't wait till morning because, if somehow you didn't notice, she was drunk. And why didn't you accept her apology?"

I hadn't noticed. I blame the drugs currently in my bloodstream. The drugs that were making me drowsy. I yawned as I put on some boxers and, not bothering to answer Kendall, slipped into bed. A horrible ache in my chest making want to sob.

And that ache of loneliness and want was the reason behind the tears that fell.

* * *

><p><strong>So, that sucked.<strong>

**If you hate me I don't blame you. At all.**

**Reviewing makes me work faster believe it of not. **Follow me on twitter: RiotOnFicnation._ **So you can curse me out about not having uploaded IN 8 FUCKING MONTHS!**_

**Really guys, I'm very sorry. I feel awful for making you wait for such a shit chapter. Really VERY sorry.**

**'k bye.**


	10. Ch 10 Make KO Split

**So no one knows about that fic? With Alec the abusive dance choreographer and Kendall the savior who goes and rescuse Logan? No one? :( **

**Ok so. Sorry for the long wait. At least it wasn't 8 months this time! :D... :-l**

** I'M A TERRIBLE UPLOADER! D,x**

**I am also a little sad to say that there is no smut in this chapter. **

**Just love and friendship.**

**A lesbian Camille. **

**And a hooker.**

* * *

><p><strong>Ch. 10- Make KO Split<strong>

I woke up with a pillow to the face.

"Hurry, Logan! Gustavo's back early!" Kendall shouted. He was buzzing around the room yelling and putting on his clothes.

I felt like screaming. My backside ached, my head hurt and my heart felt like it was lodged in my throat. Putting up with Gustavo was basically the opposite of what I wanted to do today. I pulled the blanket over my head and rolled over, ignoring Kendall for a good 5 minutes before he took me by the ankles and ripped me out of bed. Making me hit my head in the process.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" I screamed. Kendall gaped at me, shocked over my anger, when I felt something in my stomach rise. I sprinted to the bathroom and made it just in time to heave hard into the toilet. Kendall appeared in the doorway and stared at me in sympathy.

"Honestly, Logan, we shouldn't let you drink so much." _Oh! _I'm_ the one who shouldn't be allowed to drink!_ I thought spitefully. But all my anger drained from me along with the next wave of puke.

"Did you have something different last night, Logie? I don't think I've ever seen you this hungover before." _Just some amazing shower sex and drugs._ I thought.

"I think we all had a little something last night. All I remember is getting to the club, having some drinks and then everything after that is blacked out." Kendall confessed. My stomach knotted up, making my head spin and a final wave flooded out of my mouth as I officially emptied out my stomach. I tried standing but stumbled and Kendall had to help me. He left me so I could shower and when I went out to change he wasn't in the room. I stumbled out into the living room to see Carlos sleepily eating a fistfuls of Froot Loops out of the box and James fixing his hair with his comb. _Even hungover the boy looks like a Greek god. I probably look like a piece of shit._ I thought bitterly.

"Hey, Logan. How are you feeling today?" a voice chirped from the kitchen. Mrs. Knight was buzzing around making heaping amounts of pancakes.

"Fine. Why the pancakes?"

"Bitter's is on vacation and mom is panning on inviting the SCHMOKIN' HOT sub over for breakfast." Katie said, popping up from behind the counter.

"That is NOT true!" Mrs. Knight shouted defensively. Even Carlos, in his hungover stupor, looked at her with a _yeah right_ look._  
><em>

"Whatever!" Mrs. Kight shouted, her fashed blushing red, "Go down to the lobby! Kelly's waiting for you guys."

"Where's Kendall?" I asked.

"In the lobby waiting for you all."

We trooped out down the hall to the elevator. James and Carlos weren't making eye contact with each other and I couldn't suppress my smirk.

_I suppose that's one perk of Kendall not remembering anything. No awkwardness in the morning. Just one sided heartache. _I stopped smiling at that.

We stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. Kendall was sitting in one of the chairs talking to Kelly. She looked very upset, not exactly mad or scared or sad. Maybe all three. Kendall on the other hand looked ready to pass out.

"Hey guys. What's wrong?" Carlos asked as we approached. Kelly bit her lip and replied, "We'll tell you when we get to the studio."

The car ride was quiet and tense. Kendall and Kelly were looking like their heads were going to blow up and James and Carlos were still acting weird. I didn't find their awkwardness as amusing this time.

We were locked in the sound booth as soon as Kelly got us in the studio. Like literally locked us in. She put chains on the doors so we couldn't get out! The locks were combination locks so only someone with the combo could get in.

"What are you doing?" James and Gustavo screamed simultaneously. Carlos looked like a caged animal. He ran around slamming himself into the walls, screaming, as James shook the door.

Kendall just stood, slumped against the wall, looking sick.

"What's going on?" I asked. Kelly took a deep breath and pulled out a large orange envelope from her purse.

"What's that?!" Gustavo shouted, already sensing the bad things that must have been in that envelope.

"This morning we got this in the mail here at the studio. We don't know who sent it but I'm pretty sure it was some crazy stalker but they might send it to some magazine for a couple grand and ruin your reputation." Kelly said in a rushed tone.

"Kelly...what's in the envelope." Gustavo growled. At this point Carlos and James were pressed against the wall with Kendall holding on to his arm as if for protection. I was standing alone waiting for her to open the orange packet of doom.

She opened it and produce a handful of what seemed to be photographs. She flipped them and I felt like i was sucker punched in kidney. It was a picture of last night. Carlos, James, Kendall and I taking shots while people around us laughed and took pictures with their phones.

_How big is the chance of someone taking a picture of Kendall and me kissing in the middle of the club?_ my mind panicked. Kelly switched photo after photo showing us drunk or dancing or Carlos grinding with 3 girls at once or James making out with 3 different girls in 3 different pictures. All the while I was waiting for my life to come crashing down in one switch of a picture.

Gustavo was nothing short of fire engine red. Kelly let out a shaky breath. "This one might be the one to ruin our rep in this town for good. Not that we care what you do in your private sex lives but please you could have at least have kept it private."

_Oh God, I'd going to die._ I was paralyzed in the center of the booth. James and Carlos were quivering behind a horrified looking Kendall as Kelly switched it to reveal...James kissing 2 girls at once while one of them stuck their hand down his pants and his hand was up her skirt.

My heart swelled with relief. While Gustavo's heart must have spontaneously combusted.

He exploded out of his chair and ran full force into the booth door. James and Carlos shrieked and forced themselves behind Kendall, who looked just as scared. I stumbled back as Gustavo's body shook the door violently. Kelly was shouting behind him trying to get him to stop but he just bounced off the door and slammed himself into it again and again. I jumped back after a particularly hard slam and Kendall's chest bumped by back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I felt James' hands reach around him to grab a fistful of my shirt. Carlos was all the way in the back, too short to see anything, but he he didn't peak around us.

This is hardly the angriest we've seen Gustavo, but that didn't make it any less scary. We had locked ourselves in the booth to escape his wrath before and it proved itself to be a worthy fortress against Hurricane Gustavo, but the forcefulness of the shaking and the screaming was still enough to have us trembling.

"GUSTAVO! Please STOP!" Kelly was screaming.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THOSE DOGS!" He roared back. He had resorted to abusing the chains that had been locked into place, trying to yank them off, but the lock prevented him from attaining his goal of killing us,"NO MORE PARTYING! NO MORE ALCOHOL! NO MORE GETTING CAUGHT DOING STUPID SHIT ON CAMERA! AND NO MORE GIRLS!"

James stopped being scared enough to peek around Kendall and scream, "WHAT?!"

"KELLY GIVE ME THE COMBINATION TO THIS DAMN THING!" he shouted as he jiggled it violently. James cowered behind Kendall again as the chains rattled loudly.

"No! Not until you listen!"

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I'M **YOUR** BOSS! NOT THE OTHER WAY-"his face contorted into one of confusion and the next thing we knew Gustavo was passed out on the floor.

Kelly let out a sigh, "Great, he had an anger spell." Gustavo was known to have those when he was on the verge of violent, homicidal fury, "I'll drive him to the hospital, but you guys should leave like right now." She said as she unlocked the door. We sprinted out of the studio and haled taxi.

My nerves were shot as we piled in and Kendall was keeping very quiet. James was still fuming over the 'NO MORE GIRLS' rule and Carlos seemed to be too aware of the tension in the car to say anything funny. We were half way to the Palmwoods when Kendall got a call.

"Hey, Mom, what's up?" Kendall said when he picked up the phone. Pause,"WHAT?! HOW? WHEN?" Do you want us to go to the hospital? We totally can, we're still in the taxi."We all looked up at that. Pause. Kendall's furrowed brow left when he started laughing. James, Carlos and I were waiting as he said, "Are you sure? It's not too bad? Okay. Bye, Mom. Love you." He hung up with a chuckle.

"WHO'S IN THE HOSPITAL?"James shouted.

"Katie."

"WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Carlos pressed.

"She broke her leg in two places and snapped her ankle...while sneaking out to see a boy."

We burst out laughing.

"What boy?"James gasped out.

"The one with the video game?"

"Kyle?"

"That's the one. She got grounded after we left, apparently, for ruining Mom's date with the Sub Manager. But she had a date with Kyle and tried to sneak out her bedroom window and...it didn't go well."

"I feel kinda bad for laughing." I admitted, "How long will she be there?"

"At least until tomorrow."

"Getting a cast shouldn't take all night." I said, biting my lip.

"Calm down, Logan. Katie isn't dying. Now, we have the crib to ourselves, and since Gustavo's broken we have the day off." Carlos said, bouncing happily. we got out of the taxi and entered the lobby to find Jo sitting in one of the chairs. James and Carlos visibly tensed, but when Kendall and Jo kissed and hugger they got confused.

"They got back together last night."

"Oh?" Carlos still looked confused, "So we partied for nothing?" I managed a smile for him before trying to excuse myself to the apartment.

"Wait! Logan! The entire Palmwoods is throwing a party since Bitters is gone, and I was hoping you could invite Dot so I could try to apologize." Jo said, grabbing my arm. I shrugged her hand off less than subtly. Kendall glared at me while Jo turned a pink color.

"I don't know. Gustavo almost killed us today for going out yesterday. I don't think going to this party would be a good idea-" I started.

"Oh come on, Logan! What Gustavo doesn't know won't kill him! Besides we'll be surrounded in friends tonight. No one here would sell us out to some magazine!" Carlos interrupted. I frowned but Carlos and James looked like they were already concocting ways to get the Jennifers in bed tonight.

"Fine, whatever. I'll call Dot right now." i said walking away. If I watched Kendall and Jo hold hands like that any longer I was going to blow chunks.

Today already to too long. We broke Gustavo, our reputation as a squeaky clean boy band was ruined, Katie broke her leg and it wasn't even noon yet.

Tonight was gonna be a long night.

* * *

><p>The residents that were over 21 bought enough alcohol to get the entire Palmwoods shitfaced. I wouldn't be surprised if every liquor store withing 10 miles was bought bare of any kind of drinks.<p>

Dot arrived 20 minutes before 9:00 looking like a hipster Disney Princess. I swear she looked like a modern day Pocahontas, except shorter. I greeted her at the door and we went down to the pool where the party was and hour later.

"So where's Jo the Butt Kisser?" Dot asked with a grin. Ever since I told her about Jo's predicament, she walked around looking smug, like she now had power over Jo, which she sort of did.

"Not sure," I smiled back. We scanned the crowd and spotted James and Carlos. Dot went off to dance with them and they welcomed her with open arms. I was going to miss her when we "broke up".

We dance and hung out till about 11. James and Carlos' plan for a five-some with the Jennifers seemed to have worked since they disappeared with them about half and hour earlier. Jo and Kendall joined Dot and I at some chairs while we relaxed and laughed at the drunk people.

Jo still hadn't apologized and was avoiding Dot's eye throughout the entire conversation. I stood up to get some more beer for myself and Kendall.

"LOGAN!" I familiar voice called from behind. Camille rushed to me and hugged me. I hadn't seen much of her since Dot came around. I never realized just how much I missed her until then.

"Long time, no see." She smiled, "So, apparently our little Kendall Lover swings both ways?" She looked at me with a smirk and I almost choked.

I really hadn't thought about how I was going to explain this to her. Or James for that matter. I guess he just thought I moved on from Kendall. Boy was he in for a surprise when Dot left!

"Um...kinda. It's a little complicated..." I mumbled.

"What's complicated? Your type is Kendall or hot Hispanic chicks. I fall in neither category. It's okay, Logan. I'm not going to destroy you for not loving me." Camille smiled.

"You really are cool you know that?"

"Yeah." She said with a shrug, 'At least you have better taste than Kendall." she added with a bit of bitterness. Jo and her never reconciled after their fight all those months ago. "Is Jo still using Kendall to get to you?"

"I honestly haven't thought about it. I hope not. Kendall's still all over her." I couldn't hide the poison in my voice. Camille opened her mouth to say something, but a voice interrupted.

"OH. MY. GOD. LOGAN!" I felt my eyes bulge a little as I turned and saw...yup. Terri the Therapeutic Hooker. Who also happened to be the one and only girl I' ever slept with.

"Holy shit." She swung her arms around my neck and hugged me until I couldn't breathe, "If you'd told me you were famous I would have charged you WAY more!" she squealed as she pulled away. I turned to see a wide eyed Camille. But she wasn't looking at me. No she was looking at Terri like she wanted to...well to have her in bed.

"Terri this is my friend Camille. Camille this is my...friend Terri." It was love at first sight. They stared at each other for about 2 minutes just taking in each others faces, then they sort of drifted away from me, as if I wasn't there. I took my now empty beer and filler it again and went back to sit with Kendall, Jo and Dot, feeling oddly hollow.

_At least someone found love tonight._

* * *

><p>"She still hasn't apologized." Dot noted. Kendall and Jo went off on their own leaving Dot and me to talk about the plan. <strong>Make KO split. <strong>

"Well she's nervous. You almost kicked her ass last time you guys met." Dot smiled at the memory, "I'll go get you another drink."

"I swear if I were straight I'd marry you." I said handing her my empty cup.

"Yeah, if Lennon didn't kill you first." she wink and left, leaving me to wonder if Lennon would let me be best man at their wedding.

I managed to see her walk 50 feet before feeling a pull on my jacket. I was yanked into darkness and I felt a pair of drunk lips slammed onto mine.

I pulled away, "WHAT THE HELL?"

"Shh, Logan. They'll hear us."

"JO?!" My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw her. She was swaying on her feet and had a look of lust in her eyes, "Jo, what's goi-"

"Shh, Logan. Just relax. Leave everything to me." She shoved me down into one of the chairs and proceeded to straddle me.

"Jo, get off of me NOW!" I shouted, trying to shove her off. But 120 lbs of drunk person can be very difficult to push off. Especially if they have a fistful of your clothes. I squeezed her arms hard enough to bruise but she just nuzzled my neck.

"No! Logan, why do you insist on hurting me like this?" She mumbled into my throat.

"Because you won't get off!"

"NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN AND YOU KNOW IT!" She screamed. She straightened her back and looked me dead in the eye.

"I don't know what your talking about. But you have to get off of me NOW. If Dot or Kendall were to walk in and see-"

"SEE! YOU **DO** KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! KENDALL! I already told you I don't want him! I want you! Why can't you understand that?!"

"You're drunk."

"I'm horny and in love."

"NO YOUR NOT! ANS EVEN IF YOU ARE THAT'S NO MY PROBLEM!You're drunk and stupid. How can you use Kendall like that and expect me to love you? NEWS FLASH: I HATE YOU!"

Jo let out a screech and shook her head, "Don't say that! THAT'S A LIE! DON'T THINK I'VE NOTICED THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME! THE WAY YOU'RE ALWAYS TAKING KENDALL AWAY FROM ME! YOU THINK IF YOU CAN'T HAVE ME NO ONE CAN!"

"No! You are COMPLETELY wrong!"

"NO! I'm RIGHT!" And with that she grabbed a fistful of my hair and slammed her lips on mine.

"**WHAT! THE! FUCK!**"

You don't know terror until a 6 foot blonde giant storms in on you make out with his girlfriend along side your Hispanic girlfriend who looks like she's about ready to kill Godzilla with her bare hands. Jo jumped off of me like I was fire and I couldn't formulate anything to say.

Luckily I didn't have to. All the anger seemed to be focused on Jo. And I knew all the anger was focused on Jo because when Dot went to punch Jo in the face hard enough to knock her down, Kendall didn't do anything to stop her.

I swear angry Hispanics are the scariest shit on Earth.

Dot grabbed a fistful of Jo's hair and dragged her out of the cabana and into the pool. Jo went in with a splash. Dot turned back to me, gave me a death glare and stormed off. I ran after her and didn't catch up to her until we were in the parking lot.

Were she was waiting for me with the biggest grin I'd seen on her face.

"Logan you're a genius!" She squealed as she hugged me.

"What?" I drank a bit too much for my brain to follow.

"Now we have a reason to 'break up'" she made quotation marks with her fingers.

"Oh?"

"Yeah! Kendall and I heard everything. There's no chance he'll be mad at you PLUS he's break up with Jo! Just like we wanted. I can pretend that I'm upset and then we can break up without anyone thinking anything of it! Oh, but Kendall must me so sad right now. Go comfort him. Go!" she shooed me away. I waved as she drove away and I made my way to 2J.

My head was kind of dizzy, but I had enough sense to know that Kendall probably wasn't taking this well. My senses proved themselves to be true when I walked into our room and I saw Kendall sobbing, sitting on his bed.

My heart shrank in my chest, but I wasn't sure if I should go comfort him, seeing as how he _head every thing_. He looked up when I opened the door and opened his arms. I rushed to hug him and let him cry into my chest. I was standing between his legs with his face pressed into me. And I could feel his sobs resonate against my heart. All the while I felt horribly responsible. _If it weren't for me and Dot trying to break them up, then Kendall wouldn't be crying like this. Then again, Jo was the one who was using him to get to me, so they would have broken up anyways...oh who am I kidding? This is all my fault.__  
><em>

"I broke up with her." He said after a while. He wiped his eyes and looked up at me.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. She was the bad one. Not you."

I felt like he just punched me in the gut. I walked to my bed and stared at him.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Just...I was wondering if...never mind."

"What?" I asked.

"Well...I was wondering if you could...sleep in my bed with me tonight." He was a light pink color as he said it, "I kind of want to be held."

"Um...yeah. Sure. Whatever you want, Kendall."

He smiled, "Thanks." We undressed to our boxer and brushed our teeth. I slipped into his bed as he went to turn off the light. He came to bed and snuggled into bed, with his back to me. I wrapped my arm around his oh-so thin waist and I felt him fit himself into my arms. My arm was angled so my hand was right under his chin. He intertwined his fingers with mine and I could feel his breath on my knuckles.

My nose was buried in his hair and all I could smell was Kendall. He smelled like lemons and beer and like something uniquely sweet that could only be described as Kendall. The great expanse of his back was flush against my chest and I could feel his heartbeat. And I watched as his breathing because steady and even.

I slept feeling like this was what it would feel like if Kendall loved me back and let me hold him like this whenever. And I felt a tug in my heart strings, telling me I deserved to feel like this every night.

And that desperate feeling in my heart was the reason behind it all.

* * *

><p><strong>Rather fluffy at the end, huh?<strong>

**:-/ This was...good. I guess. Nope, never mind. This was just a massive filler I'M SORRY!**

**The pacing of it all was slow and fast and all over the place. UGH! WHATEVER! BAH!**

**Feel free to scream at me on twitter:** RiotOnFicnation_  
><em>


	11. Ch 11 Step 6 Kogan Is Closer Than Ever

**I'm really flattered by all the feedback. Really, thanks. :) And I'm really sorry for the unacceptable lateness. Sorry x(**

**OH MY GOD GAY SEX IN THIS CHAPTER! \(^O^)/**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11: Step 6- Kogan Is Closer Than Ever<strong>

When I woke I could smell Kendall. I opened my eyes to see the back of his blonde head and my heart skipped a beat. My arms where still wrapped around his waist and he was breathing evenly. He was still asleep. I could have untangled myself and he wouldn't ever know that this happened. No awkward conversation and faking a smile and telling him that "this is what friends are for".

But the bed was too warm, Kendall's body was too soft, and I just couldn't get my head out of the haze of the sleepy morning. I felt like I was enveloped in love and I didn't want to move. After about half an hour Kendall began to stir and I took arm arm of his waist. He seemed startled by the movement and turned over too look at me. His hair was sticking to his scalp in an awkward way on one side while the other side was sticking straight up.

I couldn't keep my laugh in as his face flushed and raised his hand to fix it.

"Sorry, Kendall. You just looked really..."_cute, adorable, like the fuckable boy next door..._"funny."

We began to dress ourselves in silence until Kendall turned to me, "Thanks."

I looked up at him, "It's alright. You were sad we were both kind of drunk."

Kendall nodded and pulled his pants on. I had a question pressing to leave my mouth, but I didn't want to bring _her_ up at the moment. Kendall was pulling on his shirt and I couldn't stop my staring as he pulled his shirt over his held and down his torso.

"What?" He eyes snapped up to his face and I could feel my face growing hot after getting caught.

"Umm...what about Jo?"I blurted out. I cringed inwardly for mentioning her but I was kind of desperate to change the subject.

Kendall's relaxed expression came crashing down into a deep frown and furrowed eyebrows, "What about her?"

"Are you gonna talk to her? Clear the air? Maybe...maybe get back together with her?" I stammered out at the end.

Kendall didn't say anything for a long time but finally shook his head, "No. I don't think I'd ever be able to be with her after that. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, she wouldn't want to be with me, not really." The silent _'She'd rather have you.'_ hung heavy in the silence.

"Well...I don't know about you, but I'm starving." I said, standing and walking to the door. Kendall's face lightened up a bit as we made our way to the kitchen. With Mrs. K in the hospital with Katie we had to make do with cold cereal. Kendall and I were finishing up our bowl of Pops when James and Carlos came stumbling into the living room...with a train of hungover Jennifers trailing behind them.

We watched them leave, Kendall's eyebrows were comically high on his forehead.

"Well, some people had a good night." Kendall said. Carlos stretched his arms over his head as he smiled at us.

"Yep. 4 straight hours of 'good night'." James grinned as he sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

"How was your guys' night? You two get any? Dot looked pretty hot last night," Carlos prompted, "C'mon, Kendall, I know Jo couldn't hold out this long."

I winced at the mention of Jo's name and it didn't go unnoticed. James' eyebrows knit together as he asked, "Did something happen with, Jo?"

Kendall took a deep breath and said, "We broke up."

"What!? When? Why?"

"Aww, dude, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. We broke up last night at the party. Something...was brought to light and I broke up with her. She was a bitch anyways."

"But, what was brought to light?" James pressed. Kendall gave him a pained look.

"It doesn't matter-"

"Kendall! What did that bitch do?"

"...she was in love with someone else. And was using me to get closer to him."

"Wait so she liked one of our friends and was using you to...what make him jealous?" Carlos asked, "What a bitch!"

"But that doesn't matter. I rid my hands of her and I'm just glad that he didn't pick her over me. That's a true friend, and he's worth more to me than she ever did." Kendall stated, sparing me a glance. His lips twitched up a little bit before he looked away.

"Who was it? The other guy she liked?"

"It's not important. Look guys, I don't really want to talk about it in detail right now." James and Carlos nodded their understanding and ate their cereal quietly.

"Well," Carlos said, as he put his dish in the sink, "I'm no expert in relationships, but I do know that when you're sad, getting drunk is a good distraction! We can go out and celebrate your new freedom by getting you laid!"

"Partying for 4 nights straight is a bit too much for me Carlos." Kendall said with a smile. Carlos grumbled an agreement and walked over to sit on the couch.

"How about some Bio-Hazard Blast 4?"

"How about you guys tell us how your first FIVE-some with the _Jennifers_ was?"

* * *

><p>The next few weeks went by without much happening. Gustavo got back to the studio 3 days after his rage spell, and we were recording as always.<p>

Dot and I were "fighting" for about 2 weeks but that was just for show. Jo came around once, about a week after the party, to try to apologize, but Kendall wouldn't have any of it. He made sure I was in our room before letting her in and gave her a tongue lashing about being a manipulative bitch and that she couldn't go around doing that to people. When she left he cried for two hours and I comforted him the best I could.

"I don't even know why I'm crying! I should be glad she's gone! I hated her! Even when we were still dating I was starting to get sick of her!" He had wailed into my chest. I hugged him and rocked his lanky body back and forth until he fell asleep.

About 4 weeks after the Jo Incident Kendall came into the living room with a smile on his face.

"Guys. I have an announcement." He stated. We paused the game and turned to look at him, "2 years ago tomorrow me and a certain blonde girl began dating exclusively."

We all exchanged looks of worry, "No no no, none of that! I was thinking tonight we could officially celebrate the break up. Call it getting closure by getting laid on the night of our would be anniversary."

Carlos jumped up ,grinning from ear to ear, "Yeah, man! That would be perfect! We'll get drunk and have sex and forget all about that witch!"

"I have to start getting ready!" James announced, standing and exiting the room. Carlos followed him.

I smiled nervously up at him, "So, you're feeling better about this whole thing?" I never got over the fact that I felt personally responsible over their break up. And whenever it was brought up I felt like Kendall would finally explode and blame me for everything. All of our conversations since the incident were filled with me promising never to hurt him like that and Kendall reassuring me that he knew and trusted me. Which only made me want to rip my heart out because I was manipulating him the same way Jo had and he shouldn't trust me.

"I'm not upset about her being in love with you if that's what you mean." Kendall said, reassuringly, "Logan, you didn't make her fall for you. And most importantly you didn't stab me in the back by trying to get with her."

"And I would never. I don't like her-"

"Logan! I get it. You're my best friend who would never do that to me. Thanks." _Oh if only my heart were removable._

"Yeah, she totally betrayed you. It was evil, what she did." I said, nodding. _What I'm doing isn't evil, right? I mean, the person that I'm TECHNICALLY manipulating is the one I'm trying to get with, so in the end the only one whose getting remotely hurt is Jo who was a conniving bitch that Kendall was getting sick of anyway. I'm not a monster. Right? **Yeah, you kinda are. **OH SHUT UP BRAIN!_

Kendall shifted uncomfortably at that, "Well I wouldn't say evil. I mean, I think I kinda get where she was coming from."

"WHAT? How? How could what she did to you possibly be justified?" _Oh lord no. He can't be thinking about forgiving her can he?! What if he does and he still wants her back? WHAT!? NO! We're going out to celebrate the break up! That makes no sense. **But what if? What if he still has feelings for her?** SHUT. UP. BRAIN. **Man, I'm just sayin' they dated for a WHIIIIIILE...**_

My thoughts were at war with each other when Kendall said, "Well, you're a really good guy and...you can't help who you fall in love with."

THAT shut my brain up. Kendall was looking me in the eye and I felt my heart squirm.

"Well...thanks and that's true I guess."

"The heart wants what it wants, especially if it can't have it." His eyes were ripping into my soul and I felt my cheeks tint.

"Well, I don't think love is _that_ cruel. I'm sure it just makes it really hard. But not impossible."

"Do you really think that, Logie? If you love someone enough you can have them? No matter what?" His emerald irises were smoldering me and I lost my breath. I nodded.

**"NO!"** Kendall gave a start and jumped back a foot. I hadn't noticed but apparently during our _ ridiculously heavy_ conversation Kendall had been getting closer and closer and I had was sitting at the edge of my seat.

We turned to see James wrapped in a towel and nothing else running after Carlos full speed.

"HELP!" Carlos screamed as he jumped over the couch to hide behind Kendall.

"**He has my hair product**!" They ran around Kendall and darted back to their rooms. We heard Carlos scream one last time before James huffed his way back to his room. Kendall turned back to me and suddenly I could feel the awkwardness of the interrupted moment. I looked down at my shoes to hide my pinkish face.

Kendall clear his throat, looked at anything but me and blurted out, "You know you could bring Dot along."

"What?!" My head snapped up and Kendall was looking off into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I noticed you guys aren't as close as you were ever since that disaster of a party so...I' guessing that maybe this Celebration of Closure will be like I new start for your relationship."

"Wouldn't that kind of like rubbing in the fact that you're newly single?"

Kendall shrugged, still not looking at me, "No, go ahead. Call her." And with that he turned and walked into our room, looking absolutely flustered.

_Tonight is gonna be hard to live through._

* * *

><p>I called Dot and she agreed to come, but even she thought that it was weird for Kendall to suggest she tag along.<p>

James spent the evening fretting over how everyone looked. He picked out every ones clothes, but most of his attention was mostly on Kendall.

"No! Not the blue shirt! Your eyes are GREEN Kendall!"

"Whose butt do you think you have?! Carlos'? You don't have enough ass to pull off those jeans. Wear these, Logan."

"No you can't wear my jacket, Carlos, just how tall do you think you are?!"

"LOGAN! Don't even TOUCH your hair without me to help you with it!"

"Kendall I'm just trying to help you get laid, so do as I say!"

By the time Kendall was ready to go it was about to be 10. He came out of the room looking like sex on legs. He had on a leather jacket that made his shoulders look deliciously broad on over a deep emerald shirt that was fitted to his torso. His jeans were a deep grey and his shoes matched his shirt. His hair looked sexed up and swooped over his forehead.

I tore my eyes to read a new text message from Dot.

_**wen should i meet u guys at the**** club?**_

I responded: **_we're leaving rite now so...10:30?_**

We jumped into the Big Time Rush Mobile and drove off to a new club. The New. Dot had suggested it but it didn't look like a club. Unlike The Jungle whose music could be heard vibrating the whole street, The New was absolutely silent. It was a two story building, the windows of the top story were tinted, but the first floor walls were made of floor to ceiling glass. And the inside looked perfectly un-clubby-like.

"Are you sure it's a _club_ club or a...old people dressed in old clothes eating soft food club?" Carlos asked.

"It's a club club. There's a lobby with a bar for quieter folk but trust me the fun is deeper inside." Dot said next to me.

"Were did you come from?" I asked somewhat startled, Dot was sort of stealthy and after months of 'dating' I still wasn't really use to it.

"My car." Dot said nodding her head towards a black muscle car parked a few spots away. She smiled up at me and took my hand in hers. We all walked towards the door and the bouncer fumbled over himself trying to open the door for Dot, who winked at him and got us all in without any ID check or anything.

"Logan, I'm falling in love with your girlfriend." James said, staring at Dot in awe. Dot smiled as she walked us through a long lobby, which consisted of a classy looking bar on the left side. There were bathrooms on the right and at the end of the lobby were two big red doors. As we walked closer to the doors we could hear the pulse of upbeat music, seeping into the somewhat quite lobby. Dot took the door knob and pulled the door open. A wall of sound hit us and we stepped into the CLUB part of The New.

It was immense. It was longer length wise than it was wide. I couldn't tell you the color of the walls, everything was tinted a warm pink...now, a deep red, then a light lavender. The lights colored the room and the giant mass of people inside. All of them moving to the deafening music that pumped from the speakers at the end of the room. The DJ's set up was directly below the where the laser lights came from. There were bars on either side and the second level were just giant cat walks on the walls full of people dancing and drinking. The DJ station was between two stair cases that led up to what looked like VIP areas.

Dot took the lead and managed to get us through the mob of people to the stairs. The security at the bottom nodded at Dot as we walked up the steps.

"Okay, how do you know all these people?" I asked as we sat in one of the glass encased VIP rooms. It over looked the entire club and the sofa was very soft.

"I use to work with a lot of them." Dot said, giving me a meaningful look. _Oh, wow, being a matchmaker must have it's perks._ Dot handed everyone a drink from the mini-bar before taking me by the hand and saying, "James and Carlos are more than capable of getting Kendall laid. Good luck guys."

She led me down to the dance floor and whispered, "We have to get Kendall to sleep with you." The guys came down from the room and walked past us to a group of girls.

"That is easier said than done." And thus commenced Dot's Get-Logan-laid-By-Subliminally-Getting-Kendall-to- Want-Logan-Instead-of-the-Other-Club-Bimbos Plan.

When Dot and I weren't dancing we were hanging with the guys trying to help Kendall get a girl. He seemed into it, smiling and flirting. And drinking. A lot.

Kendall was getting drunk. Like He's Going To Forget He's Straight drunk. It was mostly Dot's fault, who was having him drink absurd amounts of free alcohol that the bartender was giving us. But no one was really complaining.

By midnight Kendall was too wasted to flirt with ANYONE and James and Carlos had given up trying to help him, and instead tried to get girls for themselves. Dot and I made our way across the mob to the doors that led to the lobby.

"I'm gonna head out, getting Kendall to sleep with you is your objective for the night, alright?" She said in the quiet, red lobby.

I snorted at her choice of words, "Yes, M, I won't fail the mission."

"Alright, Bond." Dot replied, smirking at the reference, "Oh, and I think now would be a good time to 'end the relationship'. Kendall's over Jo and will be ready to pick up the piece of your heart, which I shall shatter for you. I could call come over tomorrow, around 5 or so, and we could break up in Palmwoods Park or the pool."

"Really? So soon?" I asked, suddenly nervous. If Dot and I 'broke up' then I was alone in the Kendall+Logan= Forever Plan. I'd have to carry out the rest of the plan by myself. I knew 'breaking up' had always been part of the plan, but still...not having Dot there was scary.

"Soon? Logan, we've been dating for over 4 months." I guess she could see my dismay so she added, "Plus, I'm still going to be helping you. You just can't be seen with me, talking to me, texting me, calling me. I promise you, Logan, I will do everything I can to get Kendall to realize he loves you, just from farther away now. You'll be more in charge now and we'll have to be extra sneaky about it."

I nodded in agreement. Dot beamed up at me.

"Okay, so we break up tomorrow."

"Yup." I agreed. She hugged me and left.

* * *

><p>She got in her car and drove off.<p>

And she was gone.

* * *

><p>I turned around to go to the club room, and almost screamed when I saw a drunk James standing there. He had a drink in this hand and a perplexed looked on his face.<p>

"James, you scared the hell out-"

"What the hell was THAT?! 'We break up tomorrow', no one breaks up like that! Logan, why are you and your girlfriend coordinating your break up like that?" His face went from confused to cold, "Why do you have a girlfriend, Logan? You told me you were in love with Kendall and here you are parading around with Dot."

Panic was welling up in me with every word.

"James I can explain...actually I can't, but-"

"What the hell are you playing at, Logan? I've just spent the entire evening watching you try to get Kendall laid while you danced around with your girlfriend! People don't try to get the person that they've been in love with since they were 12 to sleep with somebody else! And GAY people don't date people of the opposite gender! So WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" He was starting to wobble standing up.

"James, please keep your voice down! I WILL explain everything eventually, but right now I really can't-"

"I heard her say she was going to make Kendall fall for you." _God dammit, why did James have to be a observant drunk?_

James stared at me as I gaped up at him.

"Er..."

"Did you just go out with her to try to make him jealous or something?"

"..."

"That's it. You can't do this to yourself! I'm going to tell Kendall!" He downed his drink and turned back to the doors to the club room.

"WHAT?! NO! YOU CAN'T!" I jumped around him to block him. My sudden movement startled him and he stumbled back a bit.

"Get outta the way, Logan!" His words were slurring together as he got more and more flustered.

"No! James! You're drunk! You heard wrong, all you're gonna end up doing is making things weird and complicated!"

"No I didn't! Move!" Desperation was creeping into my mind as I shouted:

**"If you tell Kendall anything, I'll show everyone you know the picture I have of you and Carlos cuddling!"**

James stared at me for a long time before asking, "What photo?"

I pulled out my phone and pulled up the photo I'd taken of them when Carlos had asked me to tuck them in. James paled significantly.

"Fine! I won't say anything! But you have to delete that picture!"

"Deal!" I deleted it as James staggered back to the doors. I followed him, feeling like scum for blackmailing one of my best friends into silence.

The feeling, however, quickly disappeared when I felt a hand roughly grab my ass and Kendall's voice whispered in my ear, "I've been waiting to get you to myself all night."

"Whoa there. We're still in public!"

"Well, it's been weeks since I've had a piece of this ass, and it's about time we get home anyways, so how about we get out of public? That sounds like a good idea, right?" He growled into my ear. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his nose behind my ear. My back was against his chest, which I was thankful for, since he couldn't see me blush as I nodded my head.

"Well then, I think it's about time we got Carlos and James in the car." His arms left my waist and when I turned around he was gone.

I found Carlos and James together. Eating each others faces.

"Well, I think it's time to head home and NOT get caught by the paparazzi!" I interrupted. Carlos looked up at me, but James just kissed his way down his neck.

"We are going HOME! Now!" I grabbed both of them and yanked them to the doors. I got them to the car and tossed them in the back seat.

"Damn it, where's Kendall?" I thought aloud.

"I'm right here." I jumped when I saw him come around the car._ What is it with people sneaking up on me today?_

I found myself pressed against the car, with Kendall's body, flush against mine.

"K-Kendall. James and Carlos are just inside the car. They can see-"

"They're too busy kissing each other to pay us any mind." He tried to kiss me but I was already half hard and I just wanted to get him in bed. I pushed him into the passenger seat and saw that James and Carlos were, indeed, practically dry humping in the backseat. James was on top making Carlos make some noises that I never wanted to hear him make ever again.

"YOU TWO WILL **NOT** HAVE SEX IN THE BACK OF THIS CAR!" I shouted at them. James had the decency to look up at me and laugh, but Carlos was too horny to pay me much mind.

I drove fast, mostly to get home before James and Carlos covered the backseat with cum, but also because Kendall had his hand on my inner thigh and whispering _things_ into my ear the whole time. I was fully hard by the time me pulled into the parking lot and Kendall was all but rubbing me off through my jeans.

By the time we got home it was about 1 in the morning and it took about 15 minutes to get James and Carlos to stop kissing long enough to get to the apartment (the elevator ride was unbearably awkward thought).

When I went to our room I was achingly hard and Kendall was no where to be seen.

"Kendall? Where-" A pair of hand came from no where and they threw me down on the bed.

"I'm right here." I tried to flip over to look up at him, but he had his hand planted firmly on the back on my neck, "Going somewhere, Logie?"

"No. Absolutely nowhere." I gulped. My erection was pressing into the mattress and as Kendall climbed onto the bed on top of me, and pressed his hard on into my ass, I couldn't help but moan as the pressure from both sides.

"Wow, Logie, we haven't even really started and you're already getting excited. If you're gonna be so responsive tonight I might as well give you a pillow to scream into right now. Because believe me. You. Will. Scream. Tonight." He rubbed against me with every word and I couldn't help but shiver.

"Then how about you start making me scream instead of sitting there and talking about it." I didn't need to see him to know that his eyebrows were hidden by his hair.

"Feisty tonight are we?" I could here the smirk in his voice and I felt a tug at my wait. I lifted my hips and let him slide my pants and underwear off. I wrestled with my shirt and finally flipped over onto my back to see Kendall slipping out of his boxers. I gulped, staring at his length. Every time we fucked I was always in awe of how large it looked. I always vaguely wondered how his cock managed to fit into me.

"You want my cock in you, don't you?"

"No, not at all. I'm just amazed at it's ability to defy gravy and stuck up, completely erect, like that."

Kendall through his head back and laughed, "Shut up, Logie. Nobody likes a smart ass."

"You do." I squeezed out before he slammed out lips together. It was messy and desperate and made my stomach flutter. We started rubbing against each other, letting the friction between out cocks make our minds fuzzy. I felt Kendall's hand on my ass and his finger circling my hole. I groaned when it penetrated me.

He was working it in and out as I panted under him.

"God, Logan, I wish I could have you look like this forever. All sweaty, your cheeks all pink and lips red like a pornstar." He slipped in two more fingers at once and I couldn't help but whine.

"You can have me whenever you want. I will always be yours." I panted out, without thinking. Kendall's fingers stopped moving and I froze, tense. Kendall was looking at me with a strange look in his eyes. But it was gone as fast as it had come. His cocky smirk was back and slipped in a forth finger.

"Good to know, Logie. Now, I wonder how far you can stretch." His fingers were working fast and as soon as they touched my sweet spot I became a withering bundle of sexual need. Kendall spread my legs farther and farther apart until my feet were nearly dangling off the sides.

"I think we can do one more. Don't you?" My mind vaguely registered his words, before his thumb found it's way in. I was stretched around his hand with his longer fingers drumming against my prostate, as he leaned down to kiss me more.

"MMMMMMMMMmmmrrrrrrRRRRRHHH!" I managed to whine out unintelligibly into his lips. Every hit was making my body shake and my dick was getting harder and harder.

"What was that, Logie? You're going to have to speak more clearly than that." He was panting hard, and his voice was trebling with lust.

"MORE!" I bit my lip to keep from shouting the building down, and only managed to suppress the smaller sounds.

"I'll give you more if you keep making those filthy little sounds." Kendall said. I opened my mouth wide and let out all the sounds I'd been holding back. I could feel Kendall's hand more in a bit deeper and all I remember thinking was _Oh God, this is anal fisting!_

I heard myself screaming and felt Kendall's hand _punch_ my prostate and my dick couldn't take it anymore. String after string of cum came out as I bit down on his shoulder. Kendall hissed but stayed put, my cum painting his chest white.

I opened my eyes, that I didn't remember squeezing shut, and looked up to see Kendall smiling down at me. He had removed his hand and plunged into my now-sensitive hole. It was borderline uncomfortable but I couldn't help but be distracted by Kendall's face contorting in pleasure. His cheeks were reddening and there was sweat on his brow. With every jerk of his hips he let out a huff of air the puffed the hair that wasn't sticking to his forehead.

My heart skipped a beat when he looked me in the eyes. He was staring straight into me and I felt a blush bloom onto my cheeks for being caught staring at him. He lowered his lips to my neck and showered me with kisses. His thrusts were getting erratic and with every stutter in the rhythm I could tell he was getting closer. He was grunting small words 'Fuck', 'Logie' and 'shit' and then, without warning, he bit down on my shoulder.

I yelped as Kendall sucked on the spot and then I felt his hot seed in me. He pulled up with a _pop_ and grinned at me.

"Now we match!" He pulled out and rolled to the side. I smiled at him and gave him one last kiss, before my eyes drifted shut.

* * *

><p>I woke up with Kendall sleeping soundly next to me. I sat up and fished my boxers from the floor and as I pulled them on I couldn't help but feel...odd. There was a feeling in my chest that made me feel worrisome, but calm. I walked to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. If I craned my head far enough I could see the mark Kendall had left on my shoulder. I blushed and smiled as I patted myself dry and when I walked into the living room to see James and Carlos sitting on the couch, eating Lucky Charms straight out of the box. Kendall was shuffling around the kitchen, clothed and showered. He must have used the kitchen bathroom.<p>

"So what are we doing today?" I asked as I sat next to Carlos and James and snatched some Lucky Charms.

"Just hanging out I guess." James responded. I was keeping my eyes on him. He didn't show any signs of remembering what he overheard yesterday.

I spent the rest of the day watching for any signs from James while also trying to suppress the feeling at the back of my head. I was feeling eerily calm. Like the calm before the storm. Anxious yet tranquil. I managed to forget about it after a while. Kendall and Carlos ordered pizza so that Mrs. K wouldn't have to cook and we all went to the pool after. Carlos and James were racing in the water while Kendall and I watched them from the chairs. Everything was calm and it sort of felt like the old days before Dot and the whole plan. Before Jo, and I mean before Jo ever even showed up at the Palmwoods. It was relaxing and refreshing, and dearly missed. To just lie back and enjoy spending time with Kendall and the rest of the them, like we were a family.

Because we were a family.

And that feeling of peace was the reason behind it all.

* * *

><p><strong>The ending sucked but the next chapter is gonna suck SO MUCH MORE! For totally different reasons.<strong>

**I am warning you now, you're probably gonna hate me after the next chapter...or you might love me I don't know.**

**And feel free to scream at me on Twitter ( RiotOnFicnation) for uploading this 3 months late *winces* sorry about that by the way!**


	12. Ch 12 Not In the Plan

**This chapter is short an awful. Have fun :)**

**CH 12 **Not In the Plan****

* * *

><p>When we went back to 2J Katie went to her room, Mrs. K went to go read and we were all feeling pretty good. We were sitting in front of the TV trying to figure out which DVD to watch when my cell phone started ringing in the other room. I must have left it there when we left this morning.<p>

I shuffled around my room and finally found it in my pants from last night.

"Hello?"

"Logan? It's Lennon." He sounded as if he was crying. I could hear his nose plugged up and he was sniffling.

"Whoa! Lennon, are you okay?"

"No. No I'm not...Logan." Lennon started sobbing on the other side of the phone.

"Calm down Lennon. What's wrong? What happened?"

What he said next will never cease to make my heart feel like it'd been squeezed.

"It's Dot...Logan...She got into a car accident last night. An eighteen wheeler hit her...she's dead."

* * *

><p><strong>I'M NOT EVER A LITTLE SORRY! Okay, maybe a little. To all who liked Dot, I'm sorry for you loss. To all who hated her, your welcome. <strong>

**She was destined to die since she was introduced so...this was gonna happen regardless of her character feedback.**

Okay, so I'm gonna try my damnedest to upload quickly, because leaving you with such a short chapter just isn't cool.

**If you wanna scream at me, please do! :D PLEASE! On Twitter (RiotOnFicnation) or in the reviews! Whatever floats your boat!**


	13. Ch 13 She's Tenacious

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON**

**AN I'M SORRY**

****So here is the next chapter for the few readers that are unbelievably still with me after that last chapter.****

****P.S THIS CHAPTER IS BEYOND FUCKING WEIRD****

**CH. 13- Logan's New Plan**

* * *

><p>I don't remember hanging up on Lennon or walking back into the living room. I felt sort of dizzy.<p>

"Hey, Logan...are you okay?" Carlos asked. James and Kendall looked up at me from the couch, concerned.

I shook my head, but that only made the dizziness worse. The room felt too big and it was moving.

"Dot's dead."

And then I ran into the bathroom and threw up.

* * *

><p>I remember someone patting my back as I heaved into the toilet. I heard Katie's frantic voice, asking what was happening and vaguely registered someone saying to call Lennon to ask for conformation on Dot. After a while a second pair of hands was patting my head that was resting on the toilet seat, as I gasped for breath between sobs. I saw the one petting my head was Mrs. Knight and the other one rubbing my back was James.<p>

"Take him to his room." Mrs. Knight told him. He picked me up and on the way through the living room I saw Kendall hugging Katie to his chest and Carlos sitting on the couch with my phone next to him.

James put me down on the bed gently and closed the door behind him. I couldn't tell you how long I just stayed in bed, crying. I'd say it was about 2 hours before I ran out of tears and my head was hurting too much to be bothered to stay conscious. When I woke up, it was dark and Kendall was asleep in his bed, he was facing me and there were used tissues all over his night stand and judging by how red his nose was and swollen his eyes were, he must have been crying. Over Dot.

My chest ached and the wave of sadness came back and crushed me. I couldn't stop the sob that escaped me or the tremor that had taken over my body. I sat up to get a tissue but my head protested and I laid back down, reaching blindly for the tissues. My hands only felt air until they landed on a box that hadn't been there before. I opened my eyes and saw Kendall was up in his bed, the box of Kleenex in outstretched hands. I didn't need the lights on to know he was looking at me with sadness in his eyes.

I let out a half groan/half sob and started shaking again. Kendall let out a soft, "Oh, Logan." before he got up out of his bed and sat down next to me. He leaned down and hugged me tight enough to get me to stop from trembling so hard.

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I am so sorry." I just wailed harder and he just hugged me tighter. Finally, after God-Knows-How-Long, I calmed down long enough for Kendall to pull away and ask, "Do you want something to eat? You threw up and then went to bed without eating anything."

I nodded and he slowly helped me out of bed and into the kitchen. It was 2 in the morning according to the microwave and, as appetizing as the 2 day old spaghetti that Kendall heated up and put down in from of me looked, I actually wasn't at all hungry. Kendall sat across from me as I picked at a deformed meatball, he stared and said nothing. I popped the meatball in my mouth and did my best to chew it.

"Lennon called while you were sleeping. He said, the funeral was next Saturday." I tried to swallow, but the food wouldn't go down no matter how hard I tried, "He wants to talk to you. So whenever you feel ready, you can call him."

I stood up and spat the food out into the trashcan. Kendall was staring at me as I walked to the fridge and got a water bottle. I rinsed my mouth of the meaty taste and downed half the bottle.

It took me a while to find my voice, and when I did it came out hoarse, "Can you please stop looking at me like that?"

Kendall's eyebrows knitted together, "Like what?"

"Like I'm going to keel over and start sobbing. Like you're waiting for me to explode! Jesus, I swear, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A HOLE IN MY HEAD, YOU'RE STARING AT ME SO HARD!", my voice was gradually getting louder and louder, and I was screaming at the end, "**PLEASE JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME**!"

Kendall was still looking at me.

And then I burst into tears. He moved to hug me but I flinched away, I really couldn't accept his affection at the moment. I told him I was going back to bed and threw myself into the covers. Kendall didn't come after me, my shouts must have woken James and Mrs. K because I could hear them talking in the living room.

I was alone with my thoughts.

I couldn't even get my self to think words 'Dot's dead'. My brain would abort the statement after 'Dot's d...". I felt like I was going to start crying again.

_I am a horrible human being. I was laying around getting my brains fucked out while one of my best friends got hit by a 18- wheeler. Her body was probably laying on the side of the road, or mangled in her car, or ...or... _I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought._ She wouldn't even have been that night if it weren't for me an my stupid inability to tell Kendall I like him when he's sober. _My breathing was starting to quiver. _Oh my God, it's my fault she's dead. _My chest stated to feel tight. _She didn't need to be there. Not really. I could have done it on my own. _My breathing was becoming erratic and I could hear my heart beat in my ears. It was beating too fast for someone who was lying in bed. _Dot's gone and it's my fault and now Lennon has lost the love of his life just because I couldn't tell Kendall how I fucking FEEL._ I felt like my rib cage was being compressed and I could barely get any breath into me.

With a roll of my stomach something in the back of my mind scream YOU'RE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK STUPID and I tried sitting up to make breathing easier, but I was hit with a wave of dizziness. My breathing was coming in sharp inhales, I was hyperventilating. I heard myself call out for help.

The door flew open and James and Kendall came in.

"Logan? What's wrong?"

"I-I...", tears were rolling down my face and I managed to wipe them away with trembling hands.

"What's wrong with him?" It was Katie, she was standing by the door with Carlos behind her.

"Logan? Logan, what is wrong?" James asked. I tried to respond but by then I couldn't do anything with my mouth but try to breathe. The edges of the world were starting to get a bit blurry.

"He's having a panic attack. HE'S NOT BREATHING!" I fell back onto the bed. I saw someone look over me. Bright green eyes looked down at me concerned. A second person came. James' hazel eye wild with panic.

"MOM! MOM, LOGAN'S FREAKING OUT!" My eye sight was losing it's focus, like my brain was too worried about trying to get me to breath to really _look_ at things. I felt Mrs. Knight's hands in my face, I could hear her saying my name but it sounded far away. All I could hear was the sound of my erratic heartbeat inside my chest as I felt tears stream down my face. Mrs. Knight flicked the tears away. I don't know how long she sat in front of me, drying my tears, all I knew was that eventually my breathing slowed, the thoughts of self hatred and doom gave away to sadness and I stopped crying after burying my face in her neck.

After that I remember her cradling me until I fell asleep again.

* * *

><p>I woke up again at about 7. I stared at the ceiling for about an hour before getting up to make some banana pancakes.<p>

I was working around the kitchen, trying no to think about anything at all. I had three heaping platefuls before Mrs. Knight came out of her room. She smiled gently at me and I smiled back, embarrassed at what happened last night. She had held me like a mother holds a child after a bed dream. I felt my face heat up at the thought.

"Hey, Mama Knight."

"Hey, Logan. How you feeling?"

"Better since you held me like I was an infant while I cried all over you." I put a plate of pancakes in front of her and passed her the syrup, avoiding eye contact with her the whole time.

"You're allowed to cry as much as you want to." She replied softly. I nodded and started distributing the food around. It took a few more minutes for everyone to wake up and eat their food. They ate in silence, shooting me looks every once in a while. Katie silently gave me some strawberries from her plate in a silent declaration of sympathy. I tried to smile at her and then just stared at the strawberries sitting next to my uneaten pancakes.

Kendall was looking at me and then down at my pancakes. He looked like he was going to say something but then the phone rang. I stood up, already knowing who it was.

"Logan?" Lennon sounded awful. His voice was quivering and I could hear him sniffling.

"Hey." I managed to croak out. I heard Lennon exhale on the other side of the phone.

"Hey, bud." Then it was quiet. Neither of us knew what to say. I could feel everyone staring at me. I needed to get out of the house.

"Do you wanna meet up?" I asked.

"I'm not really in the mood to leave my bed."

"Neither am I." I could only imagine what Lennon must be feeling, "I just figured a bit of heavy drinking would be enough to easy the pain a bit."

"I don't think anything will be able to easy the pain away," Lennon choked back a sob and I could tell he was crying in earnest on the other end.

"Len-"

"Come pick me up." And then he hung up the phone.

The drive to Lennon's was quick and when he got in the car we didn't say much. It was quiet and Lennon just told me where to turn every few blocks. He looked awful. His eyes were devastatingly red and puffy and his nose looked like it had lost a fist fight with a box of tissues. His usual easy smile was not a quivering frown and the happy twinkle that usually shined in his eyes was gone. Any traces of the old Lennon were gone, replaced with a man who looked broken and alone. My own lips started to feel heavy at the tips and I had to stop thinking unless I wanted to burst into tears.

We drove until Lennon told me to park outside a cozy looking bar. We parked and as we entered the bartender waved at Lennon and gave him a smile.

"Friend of yours?" I asked. My voice sounded very loud in the tense quiet between Lennon and me. He looked at me as he slid into the booth all the way in the back of the bar and nodded.

"Yeah, I've been coming here for years. I use to go to school with him, so he never carded me when ever I came."

We sat in silence for a while. Lennon looked like he didn't want to be there, and I could only imagine I looked about the same. After all, it was my fault the love of his life-NO. Nope. Not going there._  
><em>

"So what do you recommend?" I asked.

"Vodka."

"Sounds like a plan." The bartender, who's name I discovered was Jordan, seemed to know Lennon well enough to bring the drinks over with the order. And so it went. We drank a hard liquor at first, but ordered beer so as not to die from alcohol poisoning. Lennon didn't start talking until his first beer was done and when he did he avoided Dot at all costs. He talked about where he grew up and how he never liked his sister. He laughed while telling me about his first college party and about the time he was 10 and got head butted by a goat at the petting zoo. He yelled a lot when he told me about an old girlfriend who had tricked him into buying her a prom ticket and dumping him afterwards.

I wasn't sure how long we were there, Lennon talking and me listening. All I know was that Jordan stopped bringing us alcohol once we were to drunk to speak coherently and gave us sodas instead. It was getting late when Lennon finally started talking about Dot. All the other patrons had gone, we were alone with Jordan walking around cleaning up.

"I met her when I was in college. She went to another school, but there was a football game and Dot and her friends decided to go streaking." I snorted, and couldn't believe that Dot would do that...actually, it did seem like her kind of thing. "I was on the football team and they had their faces covered. I'm pretty sure she did it on purpose...she ran into me. And of course I freaked out because this shirtless chick slammed into me. She knocked me down and her face covering thing came off and security was coming after her and she asked me to not tell them what she looked like. I told her to get off or I would tell, and you know, because her boobs were in my face, and she looked me dead in the eye and said, " _I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around._" SHE FUCKING QUOTED FULL METAL JACKET AT ME! IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREAK! And then she took off again. She jumped over a fence and got away. And I knew I was in love."

I was dying. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath and Lennon started laughing too. We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. I wasn't sure how long we laughed, but we stopped. We stopped laughing and it turned into sobs. Lennon was shaking as wails ripped out of his throat and I reached over and hugged him. We cried for a long time.

"What am I supposed to do without her? I can't remember how I lived without her, Logan. I CAN'T live without her."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. She would still be here if it weren't for me. I'm sorry." We went on like that for a while. It's like the floodgates opened and we couldn't stop.

Jordan came and found us like that. He gave us a pitying look called us each a cab and promised not to have my car towed overnight. It was dark out. I wasn't sure what time it was. Every time I looked at my watch the numbers got blurry.

"You know...I can't even begin to understand how you must feel right now," I said as we waited. "But I'm glad you opened up."

Lennon nodded, I continued, "And I'm glad that I have someone to talk to about it. My friends are nice and try to be gentle about the subject, because they liked Dot too, but not they didn't know the real her. They don't know the girl the THEY know as Dot is just an act. They don't know how much it hurts to lose the real thing. And I'm not saying I knew her as much as you do...did...but I'd like to think that I can come in a close 2nd."

Lennon smiled a sad smile, "She usually acts way differently with her clients. Like, super different. And they never really know the real Dot that I know."

That was heartbreaking. I knew Dot for month and thought about her as one of my closest friends. Or at least I thought I knew her. If I was being miserable over a false facade then that just made it hurt more.

"But she liked you, Logan." Lennon continued, "She never really made friends with her clients, but you were special. I think...I think you were her best friend actually."

My throat tightened up and I felt like crying all over again, "Thanks. She was my best friend too."

Lennon snorted, "And I'll tell you this much. She never threw anyone in a pool for any of her other clients."

Two cabs turned at the corner and came in our direction. We walked to our respective cabs and before I got in mine I turned to him, "You know I mean it. I like having you around to talk to. Take care of yourself."

Lennon nodded and got in his cab. The ride was quiet and short. I was at the Palmwoods before I could blink and I probably paid the cabbie WAY too much. I remember staggering around, drunk and in the dark. 2J was quiet as I went to take a piss.

That's when things got weird. I tucked myself back in, flushed and washed my hands and just as I put my hand on the door handle..._  
><em>

"Logan." I screamed out loud and turned to see...**Dot** -sitting on the toilet, her legs crossed, wearing the same outfit from that night. And screamed again.

"Logan. Calm down." She didn't look right, I remembered thinking, sort of soft around the edges and not all that solid. Overall she looked like the Dot i had always known, except...more out of focus.

"Oh my god, I drank too much." Dot shrugged her shoulders.

"Probably." she replied. I was pressed against the door, blinking at the illusion of my dead friend...and threw up in the sink. I felt pressure on my back and turned to see Dot, or whatever the hell that thing that looked like Dot, patting my back, giving me a sympathetic look.

I squirmed away from her, panic taking over and threw myself into the shower and pulled the shower curtain closed and crowded myself in the corner with a loofah clutched in my hands.

"What the fuck is going on? Logan you're losing it." I said to myself. "Maybe if I can't see her, she'll leave."

"Logan? Are you alright?" _Oh God, she isn't going away._

"Maybe I passed out in the cab? I'm dreaming. Yes that's it." I closed my eyes and willed myself to wake up.

"You're not dreaming, Logie." said a voice directly in front of me. I screamed again and ran out of the shower. Dot had an annoyed look on her face as she stepped out to followed me. I turned and tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

"Could you give me a second to talk?" Dot asked. Seeing as how I was trapped with an apparition I had no real choice at this point.

**HOLYFUCKINGSHIT HOLYFUCKINGSHIT HOLYFUCKINGSHIT**

"Dot?" I squeaked.

"Logan!" She smiled back.

"You're dead...right?" Dot finally looked down at herself. Her less than solid body and blurry edges.

"Yes." she said with a frown.

"Okay, I've lost my mind. You're not really here."

"But I am." Dot objected, she waved her hand in front of my face, "See?"

"So, what are you? A ghost? Are you going to get revenge on me because I got you killed?" Dot's face scrunched up.

"What? Of course not, Logan! I would never! And it's not your fault! I chose to drive that night, it had nothing to do with you. Don't think that!"

I had slowly sunk down to the floor and stared up at Dot. Or at least her ghost, "Then why are you here? What do you want?"

"Same thing I wanted when I was alive, I suppose." Dot answered with a shrug, "You and Kendall to be together."

_What the fuck_. "Wha-that makes no sense. Why-"

"I can't rest until I finish my task. Either you and Kendall get together, or I get no rest. Ever."

I was still trying to get my head wrapped around the fact that I was speaking to a ghost, or at least my drunk mind's hallucination. I wasn't one to want to inconvenience people when they were alive, let alone disturb their permanent slumber, AND CERTAINLY NOT OVER SOMETHING AS SMALL AS GETTING WITH KENDALL. I loved Kendall, but I didn't think I loved him enough to bring people back from the dead.

"Logan, you okay?"

"Yeah. What. Why? Yeah. Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm fine. I think I'm going to pass out."

"Then, go pass out in bed. Just know that I will do whatever it takes to help you. And I won't ever give up on you." Dot's eyes were disturbingly solid as she said those words. I swallowed down a wave of nausea as she offered a hand to help me up. I took it and stood up.

"The plan we had before isn't any different. Just, you have to get drunk to see or talk to me." I nodded, my mind a bit too numb to fully process what she was saying. I remember being nudged in the direction of my room. I remember stripping down and getting into bed. I remember Dot standing near my head saying, "Oh. I almost forgot! Could you give this to Lennon?" She took something out of her pocket, a rolled up piece of old paper, which she set on my night stand.

"Good night, Logie."

"Night." But she was already gone.

* * *

><p>I woke up dazed and confused. Kendall wasn't in bed, so I rolled over to check the time. 2:32 PM. <em>Oh, Christ. I woke up too early<em>. I was about to roll over and go back to sleep when I saw it.

The note. Dot's note to Lennon. Everything came rushing back all of a sudden I felt woozy. _That wasn't a dream. Dot was in my bathroom last night._

The memories of last night along with the hangover would have been enough to make me throw up if I had anything in my stomach. Which is why, when Kendall came in and asked if I wanted to eat I responded, "The thought of eating anything makes me want to cry."

He left me alone for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p><strong>I said this was going to be a weird chapter...maybe it was too weird...oh well. I wrote it, so it's happening.<strong>

**Sorry I made y'all wait 6 months for this hunk of phooey. I wrote it at like 2 in the morning. Now I'm just uploading it.**


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